Monday, January 07, 2008


Jim The Small Child Nephew and Will The Baby Nephew are now of an age when we can toss them around without worrying that their heads will fall off. So that's what Josh The Pilot and I did on our last visit, flinging about one nephew apiece. Then we'd trade, switching them mid-air like little blonde juggling clubs.

What you see here is an attempt to face both of them in the same direction at the same time, which went precisely as well as you might expect. They were within reaching distance of Thomas the Tank Engine toys, which are based on a disturbing program featuring chronically depressed trains who live on an island. The island is apparently the size of Australia, to judge by the amount of railage, and wherever it is I don't want to visit there, for cranes are forever falling over and feelings are getting hurt and sentient trains are ramping up the fury.

Thomas the Tank Engine is the Saw of childhood entertainment; one episode features a jelly-intensive train wreck, and it was absolutely the worst violence I've seen involving jelly since Doughnut Stealing Guy was apprehended. Will The Baby Nephew burst into tears, as did I.

So we threw each other around some more. When in doubt, go for altitude.

aunting at:


Daniel said...

Ok, wait a minute now. Thomas The Tank Engine is violent??? I feel obliged to come to the defense of TTTE because I grew up on Thomas and his crew. After all, "The Little Engine That Could" gave birth to Thomas The Tank Engine so he can't be all that bad. Pray do not denounce the Thomas or his friends.

Anonymous said...

I have two grown step-sons - 18 and 15 years of age, who went through the Thomas the Train phase--last year, I think. They turned out great, so no worries dear.
Very cute pics.

Red Pill Junkie said...

Nice pic. Nice kids :-)

Anonymous said...

In my wide experience with jelly-related violence, this is the first that has made Will cry. Therefore, Thomas, and his Tank Engine, are on the outs with me.

Kell Belle said...

I am so thankful Brandon and Emmy don't like Thomas. I saw the price of the toys once and counted my blessings that I didn't have to buy any.

I agree that flinging kids is fun. Now that I can lift the children, Emmy likes me to put her on my shoulder and run around so she can "fly". Enjoy it while you can though, Brandon grew 1.5 inches in 3 months and now I can barely lift him at all. He is starting to grow out of the huggy stage and into "you're embarassing me" stage.

You are an awesome aunt.

Anonymous said...

Thank you, Kelly. I just hope Jim and Will agree :)

MEP said...

My two-year old is newly obsessed with choo choo's in general so we are beginning to explore the world of Thomas and friends. I haven't noticed any violence, but I admit to being a bit disturbed with the trains' obsession with "usefulness." Also, I'm with you that the island of Sodor really must be the size of Australia.

Mike Marchand said...

I am a sad godfather/"uncle." My goddaughter adores me. Loves me more than her own father. We laugh and read and play and fling and do all sorts of things together.

But . . . my godson, named after me for crying out loud, can't stand me; in fact, he usually . . . cries out loud. No flinging. Just pure, unadulterated hate. See, take a look: You talkin' to me? You takin' MY picture?! I'm gonna break that camera later.

// mike, tl-tr

Mike Marchand said...

Oh, and if jelly violence bothers you, don't watch this Penn & Teller trick.

And don't play , either.

// mike, tl-tr

Jenib said...

I am laughing at your comment about your assessment of Thomas the Train being the "Saw" of childhood entertainment. I haven't been to your blog in while so it surprised me to see the changes in graphics, font, etc. It looks nice here. Sometimes, change is good. Hope you are doing well.

ShannJ said...

Sean gets the biggest kick out of the jelly train wreck for some reason. It makes me laugh to see his reaction. The toys are insanely priced though, which is why his train addiction is filled with GeoTrax trains rather than Thomas. GeoTrax are really cool!

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