Friday, January 19, 2007


When I first announced that at the end of March I will be pushing a shopping cart loaded with my scrapbook supplies up and down International Speedway Boulevard, Jeni The Reader cautioned me against "the loonies on Craigslist." I cannot imagine what she means.

Is it the ad from the gentleman in Palm Bay who posted, "$500 seeking male nudist environment to share (click here for picture) temporarily UNLESS it's just too awesome to leave your place!"?

Is it the biker from Canada in search of a room to rent who wrote, "I'm very clean & respectful whether I've had a few beer (sic) or not so u won't have to worry"?

Is it the two "2 early 30s guys" who "seek female roommate who is honest, cool, down-to-earth, friendly, happy, Clean and Kind!"?

Is it the apartment from the single father who runs a paranormal investigation agency out of his basement?


Clean and Kind at:

O (thank you) Susannah!

Susannah The Reader, in addition to having an extraordinarily cool name, has sent along a most kind birthday gift. Thanks Susannah!

Thursday, January 18, 2007

30 is the new 21

Josh The Pilot here again, folks. In light of how busy she is going to be from now until at least the end of May, what with her multi-city book tour and getting kicked out of her apartment while teaching five classes at two different colleges, Tink has asked me to be a more regular contributor here on Blonde Champagne. She will post when she is able, and I will fill in when she is simply too swamped with work or can't find an Internet connection in whichever city she happens to find herself at the moment.

I have plenty of things I could write about, but let's start off with Ask Josh The Pilot: Proposal FAQs - Groom-To-Be Edition. Please submit your questions to me or MB by email or as comments to this post.

Now on to the main topic for today...

I am partly to blame for the lack of posts over the past few days. MB thought she was going to be all alone when she turned the big 3-0, but I had something else in mind. Many weeks ago I devised a secret plan to fly (via airline) from DC to Florida and surprise Tink for her birthday. You are all well aware of her bad birthday memories, and I was determined that her 30th would be different. We already had to abandon The Mules for her birthday; I was not going to let her be separated from them AND me.

I found a cheap flight on Come Fly The Friendly Skies Airlines, from Dulles direct to Daytona. I arrived shortly before noon and my old college buddy Joel picked me up. Thanks Joel!! He drove me to the Blonde Blachelorette Pad, World's Most Famous Beach Edition. I hid down the hallway from MB's door while he rang her doorbell. Here's how it went:

(MB opens the door, box of tissues in one hand and a shotgun in the other.)

Tink: Hi...??

Joel: Hi, I'm Joel, a friend of Josh. You don't know me, but I know where you live waitI'mnotastaulkerhegavemedirectionstoyourapartment!

Tink: (waving shotgun) May I help you?

Joel: (glancing nervously my way) I have a delivery from Josh for your birthday.

Tink: Okay... (lowers her weapon)

Sensing this wasn't going like I hoped it would, I gave up on the dramatics. I ran down the hallway, through her door, and gave MB a big hug and kiss and wished her happy birthday. She was completely surprised!

She invited Joel in and we chatted for a few minutes. On the drive from the airport I did not mention she is a professor. I only said I was surprising MB for her birthday, but I didn't say her age. Joel totally thought she was a college student, and only after she talked about the classes she's teaching did he catch on that she's not 21.

My point here is that I keep telling MB that she looks 21 to me, not 30, and Joel offered an independent confirmation of this.

I spent Monday afternoon through this morning in Daytona, hanging out with Tink and visiting my old stomping grounds at the University of Airplanes. I was pleased to see the repairs to fix damage from the Christmas tornado are already well underway. I said hi to my old professors and was a guest speaker at one of the ATC classes. I related my experiences in Oklahoma City and implored the students to hurry up, graduate, and get to my facility so my seniority level can go up! I also observed two of MB's classes and told them to pay attention because they will actually use in the field what they learn in her class.

I look forward to your questions for the next Ask Josh The Pilot. To you Patriots fans out there, I will not say a word either way no matter what happens this weekend.

Really, Tink, you'll always look young to me at:

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Movies To Avoid Corner

Point Break, in which Patrick Swayze, in an attempt to slow down and injure Keanu Reeves, hurls a dog at him.

Monday, January 15, 2007

In My Wastebasket

-empty bottle of chardonnay
-orange macaroni and cheese powder
-box from frozen Sara Lee cake
-several tissues

Yeah, I'm pretty much thirty.

Previous Tastings