Thursday, April 12, 2007

Vader Money

I know I'm probably the last Star Wars dork in the universe to discover Chad Vader, but in case you're experiencing a lameness crisis like me, here you go:

I don't care who you are. A guy in a Darth Vader suit using a floor waxer is never not funny.

the waxing is now complete at:

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

The Nest

Here's a Thank You, Thank You Update on my Virtual Shower, hurled generously upon me by The Readers:

Tamar The Reader sent a Caboodles Makeup Organizer Tray. This is perhaps my most cherished registry item, because 1) it was a joy to discover that Caboodles made it out of the Bush 1 administration and 2) unless he starts wearing foundation and mousse blush on a regular basis, Josh won't get anywhere near it. Mine, like the closets and the pantry and the Kleenex cozy.

Tamar also gave us the Chef 'n Vibe Palm Hand Peeler, which I decided I needed because it is quite possibly the dirtiest-titled kitchen utensil I have ever seen. Also, it's in avocado, which means a return to the colors of the disco kitchen of my birth.

Laura The Reader got the Pyrex Bake and Store Set, which is awesome. I can't decide which aspect is more awesome, the baking or the storing. Good thing I have the rest of my married life to figure it out.

E & M The Readers wrapped up... are you ready? Are you ready? OK, are you ready?... The Complete Home Bartender's Guide: 780 Recipes For the Perfect Drink. Right off the registry. 780 perfect drinks. Do you know how many drinks a day that is for a year? It's, like, a whole lot. Gotta be at least one a day. Yes, E & M recognize that nothing says holy matrimony like a good, constant buzz.

I greatly appreciate all of you-- not only your readership, but also your thoughtfulness and kindness. Thanks to these fine folks, I won't only be displaying pictures of the crappy things I eat and sew while nicely sloshed, but can do so with a clear bathroom counter.

presents! at:

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Workers in the Field

I have conducted an extensive investigation of Jim The Small Child Nephew's Easter basket.

"What did you find?" I asked him.


The Risen Lord had provided Peeps! Jim discovered four. Every time he found one, he bit the head off, then abandoned it to find another, leaving a trail of decapitated Peeps in his wake. Oh, oh. The carnage. It's Tuesday, and the Red Cross just cleared out.

Part of the problem was that his parents had to hustle him and Will The Baby Nephew to Mass far earlier than usual, thanks to the HollyLillies, or as a former pastor of mine delicately termed it, "Catholics who only occasionally join us."

Occasionally is better than nothing, but perhaps some incentive is in order here. This is why Country The Brother-In-Law is a proponent of the Catholic Punch Card: Every week you come to Mass, you get a holy card punched, as for a free frozen yogurt, or submarine sandwich, and when Christmas and Easter roll around, you turn it in for preferred seating. The Occasional Joiners have two choices-- get up an hour early or stand. And lo, the faithful may enjoy their Peeps in peace.

green Peeps at:

Monday, April 09, 2007

Groom Photo Call

We all have pictures from our past that we hope will never see the light of day, where, of course, they are utterly wasted.

So Lois The Pending Mother-In-Law very kindly braved all kinds of boxes and albums in a concerted effort to assist me in utterly humiliating her firstborn at the reception. The groom was an adorable child, as we can see, and very frequently a naked one.

Pictures like this make me very grateful for photography, and sight, because without it we would never know of treasured memories which must be cast upon the masses for mocking.

Memories like this:
He made it to Crapping in the Woods Day at Boy Scout camp! Well done, Josh!

Or this:

Then again, I have little room to laugh, as he is marrying this person:

Owen Wilson.

Here's a bonus picture of Josh with his twin, Jeremiah, and the Official Baby Toy of the Reagan Administration. See if you can identify The Pilot. HINT: He is in a diaper.

mothers-in-law are awesome at:

Previous Tastings