SeinAdvice

I just saw Jerry Seinfeld's "Comedian," which, in addition to indicating how incredibly assful nightclub audiences can be, actually contained some great wisdom. Jerry was speaking with a young (also assful, come to think of it) comedian who was fretting over where he was in his career.... or, to be more specific, where he wasn't. "I see my friends working on Wall Street," he says, "and they have jobs and families and careers, and I think about how little progress I"ve made, and I get worried." And you know what Seinfeld said? He made this "What are you talking about" face and said, "What are you talking about? Wall Street? What does that have to do with anything?"

"It is good for me to hear this," I said, for indeed, the fact that the great majority of my friends are normal and settled and reproducing doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with where I am now. What I do is completely separate from their goals, and I can't measure my writing career by, say, the standards of those for an ad executive.

Seinfeld told a story about a jazz band whose airplane crashed in a field, and they had to hoist their instruments and go walking through the snow to get to their gig. And they passed a house where a cozy little family sat in a Normal Rockwell scene-- mother, father, dog, fireplace, 2.5 kids, the works. And one of the musicians said, "Why would anyone want to live like that?"

Sucks to be Johnny Cash today.

On the other hand, if I'd lost out on a musical award to Justin Timberlake, I'd probably die too.

And the Press Corps Goes Rolling Along

Lots of talking heads today ruminating whether or not we should make 9/11 a national holiday. What a great idea. I'm really looking forward to the day that 9/11 morphs into 9/11 Weekend, heralded by sales fliers announcing that we must (as I actually saw this past Memorial Day) DECLARE OUR FREEDOM FROM HIGH PRICES!!!! Call me stodgy, but I for one do not relish the thought of my future nieces and nephews one day sitting around going, "Maaaaaaaaaan, can't wait for 9/11. Gonna drink 'till I puke!"

Go to work. That's precisely what every single person was doing the day they died two years ago.

Why does Benjamin Netanyau sound like Rodney Dangerfield?

I'm listening Sean interview him right now, and I'm just waiting for him to break into one of his many immortal lines from Ladybugs. This, however, could explain why you never see the two of them in the same place at the same time.

Also, what of Butros-Butros Ghali? Whatever happened to him? You never hear about him anymore. Is he somewhere in the lower levels of Celebrity C-List hell? Are we going to see him in a cameo on next week's "King of Queens"?

Hannity just closed out the interview with the offer of a steak dinner. I cannot tell you how thrilled I would have been if he'd have insisted upon taking him to some great BBQ place he knows.

When Lacking a Pitcher Fight....

.... ain't nothin' like a jockey fight. I would have PAID to see this:

P-Val, Berrio tussle in Jocks' room

DEL MAR, Calif. - Jockeys Patrick Valenzuela and Omar Berrio both face possible disciplinary action from Del Mar's stewards following a fight in the jockeys' room after Monday's third race, in which a horse Valenzuela rode to victory was disqualified in a controversial decision.
According to eyewitnesses, Berrio and Valenzuela traded blows in a foyer of the jockeys' room, then continued to battle in the main part of the room. Jockeys Frank Alvarado, who is friendly with Berrio, and Max Corrales also became entangled, before all four were separated by track security guards and California Horse Racing Board personnel.


You gotta love a good jockey fight, particularly those involving Julie Krone. There’s just something about the idea of a woman whose physique is exactly like that of a gymnast’s whaling away at a guy with four, five inches on her. It’s like Mary Lou Retton Gone Wild.

Bad Hair Day

You know when you're wearing your sunglasses on top of your head inside a windowless office that you have officially lost the battle. It's short. Now it's also flat. I am now officially in Post-Haircut Hangover.