Because nothing could top Italy's pimptastic Opening Ceremonies, the organizers of the Closings were all, "Well, let's just do what we always do-- bust out some scary clowns on trampolines and call it a night."
The Closings, even when presented in the guise of the Worst Bridal Show on Earth, always sadden me. I hereby pet the hair of the commentators as very close friends who shall be missed. What do these people do for the other three years and fifty weeks between Olympics? How many postings does Monster.com have for bobsled analysts? I imagine that Scott Hamilton sadly wheels Dick Button back to the Old Commentator Home, where he sits dejectedly between Jim McKay and Joe Nuxhall, hoping passerbys will attempt layback spins for him to mock.
As in Athens, NBC was fully prepared to ratchet up the evening's Suck Factor. You almost started taking these people seriously, but then they would say something along the lines of "The mood has certainly become more melancholy as we near the extinguishsing of the Flame, but it'll pick right up again with some muscial acts: Avril Lavigne and Ricky Martin!" and then you realized... this is a Network of Tools.
Then again, perhaps NBC is possibly doing the best its sucky little heart could with a nation which, while the birthplace of opera, when asked, "Boffo closing act?" immediately answered, "Ricky!" I remain confused by Italy's presentation of itself. (IOC President to the athletes: "You have seduced us!" Because it's all about sex here! Also the Pope!) Apparently EPCOT Italy is more Italian than actual Italy. Why were they spinning "That's Amore" during the March of the Athletes? Who, exactly, determined that at this once-in-a-generation moment on the world stage ought to be set to "Volare"? For there was the mayor of the city, waving the Olympic flag, and there also was... "Cantare, oh oh WOOOOAAAAHHH oh!" Why not just heap a meatball in the hands of each medal winner and leave it at that?
Feh. Back into training in Colorado Springs I go for Vancouver, eh. Boy, I hope K.D. Lang is there like she was at the Calgary Closing Ceremonies.
My childhood was typical... summers in Rangoon, luge lessons.
I blame the Russian judge.
Although it was really cool when John Baldwin carried Rena Inoue into the ceremonies in a pairs skating lift at: mb@blondechampagne.com