Thursday, August 25, 2005

Let The People Come Unto Me

The sexy people.

I know I just sent you to MSNBC.com. I'm sending you back. I don't understand it either...I'm sick of seeing me there.

look! it's me again, embedded in the email address! mb@blondechampagne.com

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Welcome MSNBC.com Readers

It's not always this bloody around here. Swear.

In other news:
AWESOME!!

please send batteries to: mb@blondechampagne.com

Monday, August 22, 2005

Played

I got one of those “Get To Know You And Pass It On Right Before You Add My Name To The Spam Blacklist” list of questions the other day, and one of them asked who I would want to play myself in the movie version of my life. I have no idea who would greenlight a movie about me unless there is a pressing audience appetite for films consisting of two and a half hours of me eating a bag of low-fat cheddar and sour cream Ruffles. But I have an entire cast at the ready.

ME: Me
I should very much like to be an actress, as actresses get free makeup help and people stand in front of them with fans all day long to make their hair look fabulous. Right now I have a student who is in charge of this during class time, and it’s starting to affect my end-of-course evaluations.

JIM THE BABY NEPHEW: Emmanuel Lewis

Actual Jim the Baby Nephew

FLIPPER: Orlando Bloom
This is not to say that Flipper looks like a man, or that Orlando is particularly womanish, but Flipper is in love with Orlando, and if I pretend I have an acting job for him he will want to meet the subject, and if I arrange this meeting there is a strong possibility that Flipper would give me her Camaro.

NICK THE NASA POOBAH: Himself
Nick, in a former, pre-me, life, was an actor in New York, so I’m pretty sure he can handle himself, although he would probably not be as good as I would at bursting into tears and announcing that he will be in his trailer because he simply can’t work like this.

MY STUDENTS: Entire cast of “Les Miserables”
If I am going to be whined at, I at least want it to be on-key.

GARY “I HAVE MOVED TO KENTUCKY AND WON A WHOLE BUNCH SINCE LAST WE KISSED” STEVENS: Emmanuel Lewis

JOSH THE PILOT: Harry Anderson
Josh the Pilot is not particularly tall, or fond of magic tricks, or into hat-wearing, but if somebody has to mack on me in a fictional sense, I would like it to be Harry. Also he seems to need the work.

THE MILLENIUM BELLEMOBILE: The Titanic

BAG OF LOW-FAT CHEDDAR AND SOUR CREAM RUFFLES: Bag of regular-fat Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles

action! at: mbe@blondechampagne.com

Previous Tastings