Monday, July 07, 2003

Solve For X

This is where I tell you about the learning disability. There is now a term for this: “doubly exceptional,” in which a person is “gifted” in one area of intelligence but “learns differently” in another; or as we referred to it in my day, being “ass-bored” during “reading group” but “horrifyingly lost” during “math class,” making for a truly “miseducated” and “frustrated” child, who, having a “normal” body temperature of “99 degrees” was often able to “escape” the classroom by faking a “stomachache” and running to the “nurse,” who would then call my mother, who knew damn well what I was “up to” and was incredibly “pissed,” especially the time I wasn’t “faking it” and threw up all over the “car.” Also, this is why God gave us things like calculators and my sister, who is an accountant. He did not create me to perform this type of work and I shall not ignite His wrath.

Or, you could just look at my SAT scores-- VERBAL: 790 MATH: 320. (May I remind you that you get like 200 points on the SAT just for writing your name across the top.) I scored in the 99th percentile for one, the bottom 5th percentile for the other. My high school English teacher said, "I've been prepping young women for this test for over twenty years, and I have never seen a disparity like this." I was told they were passing the test results all over the place in The Womb's admission office.

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