Thursday, June 28, 2007

Drunk Hair

It's a splendid idea. It's perhaps the first splendid idea I've ever garnered from a bridal magazine.

The Knot, you see, has reproved me for not planning my hair properly. It carried an article which suggests that all brides begin nuptial hair planning a year ahead of time. That's when you need to start thinking about it. Six months out, you're allowed to pretend-style it. Then: The beer.

I was supposed to start conditioning my hair with beer many weeks ago, and now I shall be married beerless.

Perhaps there's a way to rectify this. Suggestions?

hmmmmm at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

13 comments:

Carrie said...

go straight to whiskey - it always works faster anyway

cousin alicia said...

Throw away The Knot. And then drink the beer instead of putting it on your hair.

Anonymous said...

Start the process by takign the beer internally - it will thereby be dsitributed evenly throughout your folicles. Plus the side effects can be pleasing

skittlekicks said...

There's less than 6 months to go for my wedding and so far I have managed to determine that my hair shall be "on my head in some arrangment, possibly just all down as I say 'screw it, I'm wearing a veil anyway'"

Alicia said...

Well, you could slather your noggin in mayo, and then take a bath in beer. Or maybe that's milk...
I suggest extensions. Not "Britney" extensions. I'm talking Paris Hilton mug shot ones. If it turns out bad, you can blame it on the beer.

SusannahS said...

Yes, beer seems to make one's hair softer, but it also makes one's hair stinky. Blech. If I were you, I'd run over to the nearest Sally's Beauty Supply and ask them for their most popular deep conditioning treatment. Several brands sell their treatments in individual packets which may be more cost-efficient for you. If you don't have a Sally's, then go to the nearest salon and talk to a stylist.
Just don't let anyone talk you into conditioning your hair with mayonaise. It leaves a greasy residue behind for at least two days.
:)

red pill junkie said...

If it takes 6 months to get your hair wasted with beer, then I assume 2 weeks using TEQUILA would suffice. Also, there would be less risk of your hair burping loudly in the middle of "I do" ;-)

PS: What does the groom think of these ethilic capillary treatments? After all, he will also have to endure the odor of Heineken during the wedding night...

Anonymous said...

Step away from the wedding magazines and just go with the flow and trust your gut. Screw whatever anyone else thinks. If all else fails run to the J.O.P. with Josh and have a party after...And congrats!

Anonymous said...

I was once at a fraternity party that got a little out of control with the beer spraying. My hair was soaked in Natural Light from the keg. I came home and washed it to find it wonderfully shiny and manageable. I now put a beer in my hair before all special occasions, including my wedding last summer.

Just pour one can or bottle evenly in your hair before you take a shower. Let it soak there as long as you can and then shampoo and condition as usual. I prefer an American light beer, and have found that the Bud Light bottle is the best.

I don't believe that there are any long term, cumulative effects of beer over time - as in, you must begin a pre-wedding beer conditioning regimen or something. My extensive research has proved that the beer shine is a one-shot deal and only lasts until the next shower.

Which brings be to my next point about The Knot: They're nuts. Wait until after the wedding when they start to send you the evil sister publication The Nest. NOTHING you do will ever measure up to the idyllic wedded bliss you see advocated in The Nest.

Best Wishes!

Owen the Reader said...

Let's see ... getting water into the ground around plants is better than wetting down the plants themselves, and moisture in your skin is better than on your skin, so ... hmmmm, beer on hair, or ... wait, hold on, it's coming to me ...

red pill junkie said...

"I don't believe that there are any long term, cumulative effects of beer over time."

Except for the AA meetings your hair will have to attend regularly! ;-)

No to mention all the suspicions you'll create when you go buy a weekly six-pak on the grocery store and reply when asked that "It's my hair treatment" Yeah right! So now only girls over 21 can have beautiful soft hair.

Josh The Pilot said...

RPJ,
As long as she shares the beer with me, and makes it Budweiser or Michelob Ultra, I'm all for it!

mike likes mich ultra dark said...

Ugh, please don't use the Michelob Ultra as a hair treatment. I'll drink it.

The Bud? Meh, you can do what you want with that. I tend to think that, like making beer brats, the cheaper and crappier the beer you dunk your hair in, the better it looks (something confirmed by anon's experience with the Natty Light). So clearly, Bud beats Mich Ultra on that score.

JTP, have you always been a Bud drinker, or is it just because Dale Jr. is coming to Hendrick Motorsports next year? :)

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