Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Ask Josh The Pilot, Volume II: The Marriage Question Edition

By: Josh The Pilot

jen liberatore said...

Dear Josh The Pilot,
Why haven't you proposed to this amazing woman? She's funny, articulate and judging by the photo shoot, an asset to the gene pool. What gives?

I know y'all have been waiting breathlessly for me to answer this question. My answer is simple: Please refer back to MB's post about us not getting married until we have more than 11 cents per year income between us! Believe me, I'd love to get married to this wonderful woman God has put in my life, but I can't and won't until I can support us both. Perhaps next year, after I'm established as an air traffic controller in DC, we'll see about making plans for the future...

(and if Josh The Pilot doesn't ask me to marry him, then I will ask jen liberatore at:


Anonymous said...

Dear Josh

I think MB should change her Amazon-give-me-money-honour-system-thingie to "Hi - I totally need money (so Josh and I can get married)."

Think about it - this could work!

Cheering you on from Melbourne, Australia

John B. said...

So you live off of baked beans and wieners the first beg in front of churches for a year or will look fondly on these days.

it is cheaper to marry and pool your incomes, one rent/hous epayment vs. 2, etc.

Dantelope said...

Ummm, with MB working as:

1) a highly-respected MSNBC contributor (ok, that's probably the 11 cents you were referring to)

2) A best-seller author (you can do it, MB, we know you can)

3) A model (woo hoo!)

4) A sports commentator for ice skating events

5) A TV star with her own sitcom featuring events taken right from her own life (oh yeah, who is with me on this one?)

... I don't see why you need to be taking the "support us both" stance. Jeez, you could be off flying your own lightweight glider through the mountains of Tanzania and driving home to your beautiful wife in a Ferrari while she brings home the bacon.

Welcome to the 90s. Er, uh...

ahjen7 said...

aww.. i feel quasi-famous..
I'll let you know if my 6 month old marriage is on the rocks, and then we can run away to Morocco, dahlink.


amy lou the reader said...

it is cheaper to marry and pool your incomes, one rent/hous epayment vs. 2, etc.

Perhaps. But planning and paying for a wedding that consists of more than dandilions plucked from the side of the highway, sub sandwiches, and invitations written on scrap paper costs money.

Weddings can be done frugally, but even ours - which was lovely - still cost about $8,000. And I was a student or temp worker for 95% of the planning, so saving money when you're making little. It really leaves nothing for other things. Like food.

MB, it's clear Josh is committed, and I'm happy to see this will be going places! Good guys are hard to come by (I know, my husband's one), and Josh is definitely one of them!

Lizzy said...

Weddings can be expensive, but you can also go about them conservatively (how many people do you really know and like enough to invite to your wedding?) and still have a lovely time of it. Besides, I am sure the parents would be more than happy to help their daughter and son begin a life of happiness. Do MB’s parent’s call him JTP too, I wonder?

jeanr said...

Weddings can be expensive or not but a wedding is not a marriage. You can always have the party later. There is never a perfect time to take the plunge -- just do it an enjoy the ride. If I waited for my husband to make all the money we still wouldn't be married 10 years later -- or have an awesome kid.

Absolutely love the blog!!

Jill said...

Dear Josh & MB,

It is honorable to wait and do the right thing financially, but don't you get sick of waiting? I just celebrated my 1st anniversary with my pilot/husband, and we definitely didn't have 2 nickels to rub together when we got married. I suggested lots of Walmart-brand pasta and Prego for the first year. If you don't kill each other over money that 1st year, I think your marriage will be all the stronger for it!

kelebek }{ said...

Hmm, that does make sense, but as far as I know an engagement is free if you don't go with the whole "two month salary thing."
I am totally with dantelope on potential sources of income for MB, especially #5!

2xgtld said...

I agree with jeanr. A wedding is expensive- but a wedding is not marriage. Marriage is cheaper than not being married- and a WHOLE lot more fun! Just the savings in rent alone is worth it! Besides, there's the fun of being married and staying home (wink, wink)- you won't need to rent a movie, go out to dinner, or even do laundry for months and months to come!

Having been married for 8 years, I can say that if you're ready for marriage, then you're ready. My mom used to say "You either will and you'll find a way, or you won't, and you'll find an excuse".

The whole "I'll get married when we can afford it" thing? Sweet. Charming. Unrealistic. In today's world, what happens when you lose your job? Get unmarried until you can get back on your feet? Marriage is teamwork- one of you may pull more than another one at any particular point, but as long as you're pulling together, you've got it. Our priest used the analogy of oxen yoked together. Some days, you're pulling along like crazy. Some days, you're pulling in opposite directions. Sometimes, one is tired and the other has to pull the load. But marriage is about the effort and the direction and the committment to stay together, even if the yoke chafes a little. Now, for anyone divorced out there- I can completely understand what happens when your fellow ox turns out to be a double-headed snake instead.

MB said...

But somebody's got to have health insurance.

And that ain't me.

You guys just want to come to the wedding.

2xgtld said...

Darn right! I had a virtual baby shower, since we had moved (to FL!) four months before AL was born. Think of the gift potential for a "virtual" wedding shower with real gifts! :)

And despite my earlier message, marriage really SHOULD wait until major life things- living in the same place, degree finished, etc. are taken care of. You'll need time to spend with each other not going out and you can't do that if you're in the middle of something.

Josh The Pilot said...

Thanks y'all for the wonderful comments. Thanks especially to AO in Australia... would you like to be in charge of starting the Tink and JTP wedding fund?
I know that we'll never truly have "enough" money to get married, but 11 cents will not finance a wedding. Neither my or MB's parents are in a position to be paying for a wedding right now, so that's why I'm waiting until I start getting my controller pay, then let the planning begin!! Yes, that's right, I will be the one paying for the wedding, at least a good chunk of it. That may be a horrifying thought to some of you, but that's the background I come from. I paid for my own car insurance when I wanted to start driving in high school, I'm paying for my own college education, and I'm going to pay for my own wedding.
Finances aside, right now would simply be a bad time to get married, chiefly because I'm living with my parents until I start ATC, and moving back to Daytona is not an option because I have an excellent job here in Orlando. Another major reason is I don't know exactly what my schedule is for ATC. It could be awhile before I actually go to DC, and neither of us is a fan of lengthy engagements, hence no proposal... yet...

Anonymous said...

Dear Josh

Oh no no no no no no no. And indeed, NO.

I would be a very BAD choice of person to try and manage any kind of fund for anyone to count on doing anything life-changing upon (pardon my preposition).

I could probably somehow magically turn your much-vaunted eleven cents into six cents *Australian* just by virtue of having lobbed into this discussion.

Look, get married when you like, and please ensure an anonymous post box address is provided for those of us inclined to send eventual wedding presents (well, we'd HAVE to, wouldn't we guys, in exchange for being able to totally eavesdrop on the intimate decisions of two people who then stoically endure our cheeky comments about them) but me and your money - oh no. I have powers of Fiscal Chaos.

I'm just Romantically Challenged at the moment, so I think if anyone COULD get married then they should do so immediately. Vicarious is the new Safe Romance. :)

And it is most cool that you'll be paying for the wedding. It would spin me out and make me laugh every single time to hear a guy bemoaning the price of taffeta.

Alexandra O.
Still cheering loudly in Melbourne!

amy lou the reader said...

Yes, that's right, I will be the one paying for the wedding, at least a good chunk of it.

I think that's noble. If we had adhered to the whole parents-of-the-bride pay, I wouldn't be married.

Also, about the ring. The Husband paid about $22 for my engagement ring. Why? It was my grandmother's. He got it from my dad, had it sized, repaired (the band was cut), and cleaned.

It is a treasure. And I get more compliments on it than any of my friends with "new" diamonds.

MB - can I be a virtual bridesmaid? ;-)

ShannJ said...

While I want to see MB and JTP as happy as everyone else does, I have to commend JTP for wanting to be able to provide for/support MB. Isn't it every girl's fantasy to have the wedding of their dreams? Even if MB wants to work and help with the household income, it's nice to have someone else want to take care of you too.

While there is much to be said for the modern, independent woman, and equality in the household, there is also much to be said for being able to see your children grow up. I for one often wish that things were less equal in my household so that my son didn't have to spend so much time in daycare.

Get married when you are both "ready" - just don't ever expect to be in a "perfect" financial situation. There is a balance, and I'm sure you will find it together. But, when you are ready, don't forget MB's old friend on the guest list. ;-) j/k!

Really though, are you coming home with MB for Easter? I must meet this man that might someday marry my friend!! :-)

MB said...


Sadly, looks like he won't be able to come. But I hope you can meet soon. I know I was happy to meet the lovely and talented Mr. Shannon. Kiss Baby for me.

And, of course, you're ALL on the guest list! Who else is going to help me analyze "David Copperfield" at the reception? ;)

Mike Marchand said...

I hate to be the wet blanket, mostly since I'm normally NOT a wet blanket, but Josh, I'm sure you've heard the studies about how stressful it is to be an air traffic controller, and the resulting problems in many of their lives.

Salary-wise, yeah, they rake, but marriage is more than just money. Eloping in Vegas, no matter how cheesy the ceremony, and being happy for the rest of your lives is far better than having a gala event and a stressed relationship.

ShannJ said...

We have to write an essay to come to the reception?! Ack! Nightmares and flashbacks!! :-) Mrs. D. would be so proud!

Josh The Pilot said...

I am well aware of the "stress" involved in being an air traffic controller. It's simply the biggest misconception about the job. ATC is intense, not stressful, and I am an intense guy. Every controller I've talked to says it's the best, most rewarding job on the planet, and I'm looking forward to the start of my career.
Concerning a gala event, our wedding will NOT be one, esp with me paying. I'm told no one really remembers their wedding, so I'm not going to blow away money on an event I'm not going to clearly remember years down the road. The ceremony will be simple and the reception basic. The money will be spent on the honeymoon...

Anonymous said...

Hey MB!!!
Doug and I were perusing your blog and were very intrigued by this edition. We are very happy for you two and wish you all the best, whatever the timing may be. Josh the Pilot sounds like a great guy! Good luck with ATC, Josh! Take your time - it's very respectable that he wants to pay for the wedding. But remember, you don't need alot of hoopla - a reception catered by McDonald's wouldn't be such a bad thing. Good luck!

KC from SMC

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