Tuesday, September 07, 2004

One Item About Throwing Up, One That Will Make You Want To Throw Up, and an F-You Frances Update

I'm in a super-do mood today, because I had to report to work, because Frances lumbered around exactly long enough to make yesterday's day off not quite a day off, but she didn't hang around for quite enough time to grant another ten hours of freedom from delightful elevator chit-chat. The building managment gave us a hotline to call to check on "hurricane status," and last night I got my hopes all up and dialed in, only to hear, "We are pleased to report that..." Well, as long as somebody's pleased.

Also, Michael Moore has heroically decided to disqualify himself for an Oscar nomination for Best Documentary. “Fiction films do not have the same restriction,” he points out. Ah.

Speaking of frighteningly huge entities with enormous gaping maws, the Vehicle Assembly Building at the Kennedy Space Center has a hole in it. There is a hole in one of the world’s largest buildings. If you’ve never seen this thing, it is just massive, capable of holding the Empire State Building three and three-quarters over by volume. NASA puts the shuttle together in there. There’s a flag and the NASA symbol painted on the front, and Frances tore away several panels of the façade. Part of the flag is now stripped off, which kind of gives the VAB this ghetto chic, blossoming crack-house, quickly-becoming-a-bad-neighborhood look, which is great, because that’s exactly the kind of image you want to project for the American space program. I’m waiting for the check cashing place and the pawn shops to go up next to the launchpads.

In other Glamour! Glamour! Glamour! News, Gary “I Pass Out, But I Get Up Again” Stevens collapsed after his last race yesterday. He’d been permitted to maintain a higher weight while riding in France, and now that he’s back in California he’s had to drop a few from his just disgustingly obese 113 pounds. The Daily Racing Form is reporting that the culprit was “dehydration,” also known as “throwing up everything he’s eaten in the past month after running on a treadmill in a cranked-up sauna while pounding diuretics.” Anybody who doesn't think the weight jockeys are required to ride at needs to be adjusted to something slightly more sane, please see me after class.

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