Harry Potter And The Incredibly Blatant Star Wars Ripoff

On the cutting edge of societal evolution as always, I recently read a book entitled Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.  Perhaps you’ve heard of it. 

This Potter fellow could really use a more aggressive publicity push, as I had to walk a full two centimeters into a public space before falling over evidence of the books and the movies and the candy and the Presidential nominations and the Hogwarts Brand Suppository.  I thought this was a book—and it turns out they are several, each exponentially larger than the last, until by the end of the series we shall find ourselves wholly treeless but by-God Potterfied—about a hirsute landscape specialist, so you can imagine my surprise when the whole thing turned out to be a truly magical Star Wars ripoff.

Lookit, if you’re going to steal from The Lucas, do it right.  At least have the good grace to name your driving mystical entity something other than “The Dark Side.”  Also?  The villain?  Named “Voldemort"?  Is clearly Vader’s older brother with a mold problem.  We’ve got dead parents!  We’ve got a wizened old mentor!  We’ve got blue bolts of deadly electrical light and a curious plethora of British accents! 

The Potter series is into Book Five Hundred and Twelve, or something like that, and I eagerly await the next installment, when Harry carries Frank Oz around on his back and tongues his long-lost twin sister.