You have arrived at the most dramatic website ever.Remember this? Well, it all came down, horribly, to this.having strong feelings for you at: email@example.com
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
I'm glad you accepted my rose, darlin'. :-)I'll see you tomorrow! I love you!
It was perhaps the most pitiful scene on American television since Jessi Spano collapsed in the arms of Zach Morris after ODing on caffeine pills.I can't believe anyone else remembers that!I don't watch reality TV, so I can't really comment on the show other than to say - given the track records of other "winners" - he made the smart decision.
Well, now I kind of wished I'd watched the last episode... I sat in front of the TV for five minutes, went "He's going to pick the one on happy pills" and walked away. Teach me to make snap judgements!
your commentary on msnbc about the bachelor was horrible. i cant believe msn would feature someone WHO absolutely sucks at writing. STEP AWAY FROM THE COMMA'S.
I'm freakishly knowledgeable about television but have no idea who Jessi Spano and Zach Morris are. Please enlighten.
That was some of the worst published writing I've ever read. Please look up "comma splice" in any reputable grammar book.
Fascinatingly, I've been getting emails all day long from people with real names and traceable accounts who liked the commentary, and yet those who wish to issue grammatical reprimands while misusing apostrophes never seem to have so much as a Blogger account.Huh.
MB-Your commas were fine. I really enjoyed your article too. I was watching with my super Bachelor fan friend. She couldn't believe he didn't pick one. Her roommate and I were laughing so hard we were crying. I also loved the black nail polish, 2 months and she's still in mourning over a guy she had to share.
Thank you, Kelly-- I appreciate knowing that you understand my style :)
I don't watch the Bachelor, but I accidentally tuned in last night (I was too busy eBay-ing to turn the channel) and thought it was the most ridiculous thing I had ever seen. The only thing that made sense is that he said no to both of them.Honestly, MB, I didn't notice any problems with your commas. I tend to overuse them, so maybe I'm not the best judge... I did like your made-up words (as always).
Thanks, Monica. I think what happens is, when people see a lot of commas, they get scared and automatically assume misuse. I can kind of understand it. Commas are frightening. My students have deeper issues with commas than anything else, especially splices-- which are, in fact, acceptable when clauses are used in parallel construction, as I did in the article.
I'm posting anonymously, but not because I have anything mean-spirited to say. I'm incognito because I'm a man & I'm embarrassed to admit that when I read "The Bachelor's Shocking Finale" on some website, I googled it. And came across your page. And liked it. Your use of mathematics (1/14 = .071), reference to the Mendoza line, combined with your nod to the comically bad Saved by the Bell all make me want to say this: I enjoyed your article. Don't tell anyone in my real life!
"I'm incognito because I'm a man & I'm embarrassed to admit that when I read "The Bachelor's Shocking Finale" on some website, I googled it."This, ladies and gentlemen, is a perfectly legitimate reason to remain anonymous. Anon, your secret is safe with us. Thanks for your kind words, and for taking the time to write in.
MB,I always like your columns. I don't watch reality tv, but that's only because I see waaaaaay too much drama as it is. I teach third grade in a K-8 school. My motto is: "Save your drama for your mama." I do use it with third graders, believe it or not, but only after I hear them say things like "She said that he said that I said I like him but I don't!"This is commonly followed by copious tears and sobbing while her friends gather round to offer support.And they're only 8. I think I must be teaching some of the future contestants for "The Bachelor". They'll be ready in 10 years or so.....By the way, I'm anonymous at the moment, but that's only because I can't remember my password! I am usually WiserlemmingAZ!!!
Love the Jesse Spano reference. "I'm so excited. I'm so scared."
I am scared of commas. I never know when to use them or when to avoid them. And I was a journalism major. Eeek!
Also, Tony, I'd be inclined to forgive your forgetfulness of "Jessi Spano" in a vacuum, but if you don't know who frickin' Zach Morris is, then you're not freakishly knowledgeable about television.
Oh good, a way to give you some feedback on the Bachelor story! Damn, the show was so sappy that I stopped watching long ago. Sorry I missed the one good show they had. Still, I never would have made it until the great ending. Those (drumroll) Rose Minutes at end of each are too much to bear week to week.
Misc. - don't need to post this. Wow, I hadn't seen a blog before that wasn't just one person going on and on. I was surprised to see that comments were allowed. As you can tell, I'm not into the blogging thing. This must be about the 4th one I have looked at.
I will admit to intimidation by semi-colons and where to put the period after you've bracketed part of a sentence. Also spaces after dashes. Ending sentences with 'of'. The use of the word "one" when referring to yourself. Unless it's done by Sean Connery, who can say anything he wants in my book.I feel very comfortable with sentence fragments.
I also am a man but I'll let my name be used and just blame Mary Beth for enticing me to watch "After the Final Rose" last night for the first time in my life. I'll even admit I found it mildly entertaining. But the word that came to mind watching the Bachelor was - "oaf."Also, please note that you can never go wrong using too many commas; it's using too few that always leads to trouble.
Chuck Magee,Thanks for stopping by! I think you'll find this blog quite entertaining and somewhat informative. We have a great community of Readers here with often lively interaction, something you won't find on many other blogs. Mary Beth's writing is wonderfully unique, totally unlike anything else in the blogosphere.Yes, I'm her husband, so you may think I'm supposed to say these things, but I read her blog before I met her in person, and I thought the same then about her writing as I do now.
Hey anon1,If you think my bride's writing is so horrible, why do you bother to take time to read her blog and leave a comment telling her she sucks? When I see horrible writing, I go up to the address bar on my browser and type in a different website. That takes less effort than writing out a baseless, unsupported, anonymous flame.Go crawl back under the cyber-rock FROM WHENCE you came, you pitiful internet bum.
Great article & not enough commas for my taste! :) Happy Thanksgiving, MB!Sara N
"When I see horrible writing, I go up to the address bar on my browser and type in a different website. That takes less effort than writing out a baseless, unsupported, anonymous flame."Hammer + Nail = Direct Hit* I may not always agree with MB.* I may not love every article or entry here (I can't stand reality TV and much of your religious commentary is way over my head).But, I will never understand the purpose of flaming someone online. Constructive criticism is one thing, Anon: 2007/11/20@1909, glass houses are something else entirely.MB, I can't say the article was terrific, simply because I'm wholly unfamiliar with the material. But it certainly wasn't poorly written.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one to start laughing hysterically at the end of The Bachelor. Is it wrong to find humor in the misery of others? Probably, but who can take that show seriously? As illustrated in Mrs. Josh The Pilot's article, they have a very, VERY, low success rate thus far. As for 1st Anon's comments, I wouldn't put too much stock in the literary critique of a person that has capitalization issues.
Lovely writing + social commentary, always a delight, very topical, to read. "melanie" and the first "anonymous" is the same person, by the way. it's a one-person conspiracy.Don't ever stop blogging, MB!!! We (meaning me and my gang of middle-school friends) love you and your very defensive husband.
I, on the other hand, applaud, your use of commas. The intention, I submit, is to, reflect, accurately, the pacing and emphasis, as if you, yes you, were reading the story. Carry on, my brave one.
To the poster known as 'wm. shatner':I love it! That is just too funny! To MB:I don't watch The Bachelor, or any of the other reality TV shows, but I enjoyed your article.
Hey MB, Loved the article and I'm glad it's OK to use what some may think are too many commas. I've had to wean myself off parenthetical phrases and I don't want anyone to takes me commas (NOT comma's). It's unfortunate that some people don't have senses of humor, isn't it?
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