Thursday, October 04, 2007

Why's It Always Have To Be Snakes?

I am evaluating student essays this semester, but am not in the classroom, about which I have mixed feelings. I miss the performance aspect of teaching and being told via facial expressions several hours a week that I am boring and have no idea what I'm talking about and am harshing one's buzz and am way too mean and amusing when I don't mean to be and that I... suck, really.

My daily entertainment of student excuses is missing (best to date: "I can't come to class today because somebody got shot in my apartment complex and the cops aren't letting anybody leave") so Country The Brother-In-Law informed me that his recent college graduate minion called him early in the morning with the following:

"I'm going to be late, because my pet snake got out? And my roommates hate the snake? So I have to find him before they do."

(Half an hour passes.)

"Hi, I'm still going to be late? Because I haven't found the snake? But now I'm all sweaty from tying to find the snake, and I need to take another shower. Okay?"

okay at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

8 comments:

DivineDivorcee said...

that's definitely one i'm going to remember. herpetologists beware...

classickelly21 said...

They should get points for creativity. I never thought of anything so original when I was a student.

Flying Fatality said...

It's been awhile since school, so my excuse bank is only used at work. I have found that my macho boss can't seem to handle any talk of "feminine issues", so I just leave a nice message on his voice mail with words like..."hemmorrage" and "profusely". Never hear a peep outta him after that. "Take all the time you need!"

Anonymous said...

Okay, MB, I have to support the one about the cops not letting anyone leave. I was living in Orlando and there was a guy holding his girlfriend hostage at gunpoint in my apartment complex and the cops wouldn't let us leave. I did make it to work eventually and my proof was all over the news.

amy lou the reader said...

So I have to find him before they do."

Yeah, that sounds like a VERY functional household...

Your next book HAS to be about all the excuses students come up with. They're almost beyond belief!

Heather said...

Love the snake excuse. Best I've heard so far!

red pill junkie said...

Imagine the excuses dear little Bindi will make when she's in college!

"Hi, I'm calling to report I won't be coming to class, because one of our crocs escaped, and you don't want a big bugger like that loose in your yard mate!"

PS: That book suggestion about student excuses sure sounds like a great idea! I smell a movie deal on that one.

MB said...

Oh, I'm not saying the kid was lying about the cops. It's Daytona. These things happen.

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