"Can I Borrow Your Corset For Ten Minutes?"

Two weeks after the start of the season, MSNBC.com decided that today is an excellent time to run my Desperate Housewives preview article, so have at it. Last night's roundup chart is here. And my concern for Susan's utter lack of parenting skills is here:

So Julie doesn't know that she's going to be a big sister, but Random Party Dudes are on a need-to-know basis because idiot, Time For My Funnee! Moment o' The Week Susan showed up to a teenage blowout in a corset and was appalled that a bunch if 16-year-olds thought she was a stripper? Outstanding.

I am finding it very difficult to believe that Julie would turn out as well as she did with Susan for a mother. Her immaturity, her annoying insistence on being her daughter's friend, her utter inability to properly size up any situation involving, well, people-- there's no way Julie isn't dancing on tabletops for crack, not standing in the middle of a wild party calmly knocking back an orange soda. I just cannot buy that Julie would grow up with Susan in charge of her and suffer no more ill effects than the apparent need to roll her eyes every 1.7 seconds.

Also: Wow. Somebody drew a big circle around the blank spot where the opening segment was supposed to go, and wrote: "Insert humor." Writers' answer? Send Carlos running through a clothesline! But not before hanging onto a car while riding a skateboard as the literally head-scratching child of an owner looks haplessly about! That is two eighties movies steals in about ten seconds, Cherry, and had you only sent an Asian exchange student falling out of a tree, complete with gong sound effect, you would have achieved a full New Wave trifecta. I'm going to to go take some hits off some trianguarly-bottled Liz Claiborne perfume until I feel better.

hot stuff at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com