Monday, September 17, 2007


I mentioned to Josh The Pilot that we needed to find a nightlight for our townhome's bathroom, and he looked way, way too thrilled over an announcement like this, then ran out of the room for a moment, only to return with the following:

Oh, but wait, you have to see it in the dark. Then it's really classy:

I sincerely doubt that Jeff Gordon himself has one of these in his master bathroom.

At least it matches the world-ending drapes the previous owners left behind.

All I ask is that people think before going to the trouble to pay foreign workers seven cents an hour to produce something like this. Look at it. Plaid, and buttons. Have either of these things ever been attractive, even separately, in any capacity?

When I look around what I've managed to throw on the walls, I'm struck by the preponderance of evidence from brief periods in my life, as if I need to remind myself these sojourns actually took place. The living room is a four-wall NASA homage and our bedroom is all palm trees, despite only five years in Florida; a two-month job as a wine educator has resulted in an entire kitchen overflowing with grapes; wistful remnants from a single college career at Saint Mary's are scattered corner to corner; and if I add up all the time I spent in Colorado across the entirety of thirty years, it comes to maybe three months, but that hasn't stopped me from mountain-pimping out my office like the showroom of the Tractor Supply Company. (Rope, people. I glued rope to the walls.)

The remaining 80% of my life took place in Ohio. For Ohio's pains, it gets a decade-old photo of downtown Cincinnati in the hallway next to the bathroom and my first license plate push-pinned to the wall of The Pilot's man cave in the basement.

Maybe it's because what shapes us the most is socked so deeply within us anyway (in the lining of the coat, Tom Wolfe would say) that there's no need to draw straight lines and ratchet it to a wall. This, perhaps, would explain why I've only been aunting for three years, and yet The Shrine Of The Two Nephews has entirely appropriated the dining alcove. It's the bright shifting element of the lava lamp gel we want to put on display, because the container--it's always going to be there, holding it all together.

inhaaaaaaaaale at:


red pill junkie said...

I wanna see a photo of the man cave! :-)

college gal said...

I agree! Man Cave photo please!

Love the night light, could do without the curtains though.

And rope glued to the wall is so chic these days if you're going for the rustic look :-D

Starnarcosis said...

I wanna see a photo of the office.I can take it to TSC and compare.

markjx said...

I second rpj's comment! I wanna see the man cave too!

And, your post almost makes it sound like you decorated the whole place yourself. On behalf of JTP, as another newly married man myself, please tell me that you let him decorate things outside of the man cave. The night light doesn't count! :)

Happy Days!


Anonymous said...

The Man Cave is incomplete, but we'll have a picture when it's done. Ditto the office.

JTP gets full testosterone reign over the Man Cave, and it's an entire floor (this explains why all the decor down there is held up with PUSH PINS even though mankind has advanced to this amazing home-improvement item called the NAIL), but I directed the rest of the house, with his input. If he made a face or outright laughed at anything, I changed it. He picked out his own bedside table and I've left a good chunk of space for him in the living room to display his college diploma and other Pilot-related things.

kate said...

Apparently your precedents in the house liked their windows wearing Oshkosh overalls : )

Kayla :-) said...

I gasped audibly when I saw the world-ending curtains! If you don't mind my asking, why do you still have them in your home?

Anonymous said...

Oh, Kayla, they are long, LONG gone, but they are burned into my retinas forever. I took the picture merely to share the horror with all.

Jenib said...

Where did he get that night light??? I have a friend who is NUTS about racing. This would be a great gift.

Anonymous said...

You can find one here if you ACT NOW!

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