Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Ruined, Ruined, Ruined

When she was a bride, Carah The BFFE used to laugh off pending wedding cataclysms by saying "Well, now my Perfect Day will be ruinedruinedruined!" Today I officially entered Phase V of wedding planning: Raging at Totally Unrelated Persons.

One bridesmaids dress is still somewhere between here and Hong Kong, I lost a nail (not the metal kind that hold a house together; the really important kind) and the last sheet of table assignment cards came out of the printer ruinedruinedruined. So I got me hence to the official headquarters of the bargain bride, and realized I also needed foam-backed poster board.

You'd think a major craft chain would have foam-backed poster board; I couldn't find it. These places are now so attuned to the crappy handmade needs of the nation that they provide solar system science project styrofoam balls in handy pre-packaged form. A grade school education is simply not complete until the student has observed her father attempting to hack Jupiter in half with an electric bread knife.

So this added to my bitterness, and as I quietly seethed at cross-stitch kits featuring Jesus and Moses a customer service person walked directly into a bridal maelstrom.

CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON: Can I help you?

ME: Yes, I'm looking for foam-backed poster board.

CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON: Actually that's not my depar--

ME: FOAMBACKEDPOSTERBOARDFOAMBACKEDPOSTERBOARDFOAMBACKEDPOSTERBOARD!!

CUSTOMER SERVICE PERSON: Aisle four.

ME: Thank you.

through customs at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com

8 comments:

HelloBettyLou said...

You go MB, tell that minimum wage sales clerk who the bride and boss is.

Cbell said...

PTL the clerk actually knew where to send you. I would hate to know what would have happened had she directed you to an aisle away from her area just to escape! Ha!

Take deep, deep breaths!

Anonymous said...

Art supply stores, particularly if they have a framing section, always have foam backed poster board. Out here we call it foamcore, or if you are looking for something stronger try Gatorboard, which is a little stiffer. Hobby stores/craft stores usually only have those piddly 20" x 30" sheets, which I usually find too small.

Jules said...

Ummmm....about that dress! :-\

Do you have a Plan B.....??

(Perhaps you could construct one from foam backed poster board...?)

I realize I am being completely and absolutely not helpful here, but if it's any consolation, I am really comprehending your distress!! I sure hope it gets here in time.

AlaskaMe said...

It wasn't her department but she still knew the answer so why not be "Oh I don't know customer service orientated and say be helpful anyway." Augh! Well maybe she has learned her lesson now! HA!

Purple Mama said...

As I use to work in the art industry, I believe the actual name of said product is foam core board, but as you are the bride to be whatever you say goes.

Grats on the upcoming day!!!!

Anonymous said...

This is wonderful preparation for my wedding, which is in two months. Thanks for the discussions on how to relieve bridal stress in proper form. :)

DivineDivorcee said...

OH dear. Here's crossing fingers that the dress arrives and all the other wrinkles are ironed out.

And I don't care if it wasn't her department: she works there, the customer needed help. Duh.

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