Casualty List

Herein are the injuries resulting from my nuptials:

-One bruised ringbearer

Jim The Small Child Nephew was having such a good day. An apparently no-strings attached Dirt Track McQueen, hair looking good, fries for lunch. Then the man with the big camera made him stand next to Mommy on a set of absolutely huge slippery steps, and oh, snap. This was the trigger for an extremely long pronouncement that he was not putting up with our $@#& anymore, which made for slightly more interesting pictures than the set with his finger up his nose.

"I fall down the steps," he will say balefully if you ask him about his battle scar. Well, you can't gain a husband without banging up a nephew or two, I suppose.

-Four fingernails

You know those Ring 'n' Hand wedding pictures, the ones in which the bride gracefully rests her palm upon her groom's in a way she never ever will again because she'll be too busy driving the barfing cat to the all-night vet office at 2 AM? This is ours:

We immortalized our hands here not to showcase our new wedding rings, but because for the first time in my entire life I have fingernails that had not been apparently gnawed off by rabid wolverines. They are fake, of course, and demanded registration with the Transportation Security Administration.


Annnnnnnnnd here is my right hand. You stick a hand holding a paddle into the Lower Yough River at summertide, this is what happens to your fake nails. Ah, woman, thine polymer resins art no match for the power of nature.

fill at: mbe@drinktothelasses.com