Thursday, February 08, 2007

Brother School

The Notre Dame portion of my readings at The Womb did not go, shall we say, as warmly as the alma mater version. I was emceeing the student readings of Notre Dame's Literary Festival, which meant that most of those in attendance were there to see their friends, and, in true college student fashion, they sought escape the instant said friend got off the stage. Those who stayed largely stared at me uncomprehendingly: Who is this old person, and why is she sober? So I felt largely like I was in my own classroom, only while covered in glitter and with the utter inability to fail anybody.

Besides, when I was introduced as a Saint Mary's graduate, the temperature in the room dropped dramatically, and in South Bend, in January, this is kind of saying something. I had been lumbering through campus in pantyhose and a thin femme coat because I needed to look like an adult for once, and every time we ventured outside and I looked over at Josh The Pilot, his face had the tense, drawn look of a person whose snot had instantaneously crystallized.

I don't understand all the SMC-directed chilliness. We are, after all, a college with our own gumball machines.

Don't hate, appreciate.

Before the reading, I prepared like all big-time authors do: by consuming dinner from a cardboard box with plastic utensils. Only the most important University guests get the folding chairs.

Dignity, thy name is spork.

All is forgiven, however, by cookies. You see this? Not only were the napkins swirled, the cookies were too. Even when Notre Dame has its nose in the air, you're looking up some pretty classy nostrils.

posture pal at:


Tacevedo said...

I’m posting this message to let you know just how much I value your blog. I’m originally from Melbourne, FL but unfortunately for the last four months I’ve been residing on a small FOB in the middle of Baghdad, Iraq. Your "column" offers a bit of serenity over the bombs falling.

tamar said...

I was gonna post:

"Girl, You crack me up!!"

Now, I am having difficulty finding words. Here goes....

MB- Thank you for CONSISTANTLY bringing a smile to my face, and to many other faces across the globe.

tacevedo- THANK YOU for everything that you and your co-soldiers (co-workers? Brothers & Sisters in arms? Not sure what to call 'em, but you get my drift.) I don't want to get all political, All I'm saying is that I am proud of you and all of the other troops. Come home safe!......And, yes, That's an order. ;)

Laney said...

Well said Tamar! MB has the best blog ever (Sorry Dan). Her humility and hilarity should be worshiped and celebrated. Also, she has a great rack and is not afraid to show it off. You go on with your bad self MB! : )

Tacevedo – My brother got back from Iraq in September. He hated every second of it. I too am proud of you and appreciate your sacrifice. Be safe, and God be with you.

Anonymous said...

With absolutely no disrespect meant to my much-appreciated, much-beloved The Readers... tacevado,that has got to be the most awesome, humbling, fulfilling comment I have ever read. What a privilege to know that a real live hero is a regular in the Champagne Tasting Room.
If you are going to be back in The Swamp by May, let me know, because I at the very least owe you a drink.
It's times like this that I wish I were actually famous, so I could do a USO tour and bring everybody swirled cookies and napkins.

Thank you so very much for your kind words, and most of all, for keeping me, Josh, Jim, Will, and all of The Readers safe. WE LOVE YOU!

red pill junkie said...

Take care tacevedo. I do not support that war, but I certainly wish you return safely to your family and friends.

Josh The Pilot said...

You honor us with your presence! My time in the military was short-lived and as of next week ended six years ago, but it was long enough that I can appreciate more than most the sacrifice you are facing and the courage you have in pressing on with the mission.
I know the press and the polls are full of how much the war is a failure, but I know it's not. You are doing a great job over there, and know that for every anti-war protestor and politician who spews their garbage, there are ten of us fully in support of your efforts.
I wish I could be over there with you, but God has led me to serve in a civilian capacity, watching over our skies here at home. Every time the sector I'm working handles military traffic, I think of our troops and wish them Godspeed. My brother, an Army controller, just got back from Afghanistan and he's probably headed to Iraq sooner rather than later, and I couldn't be more proud of him.
God Bless you, sir/ma'am, and not to one-up MB, but if you find yourself in the DC area, I'll buy you a drink AND lunch.

Danica said...

ND has a lot of attitude for having some of the worst cookies I've ever had. Sorry to hear the students were rude! If I hadn't graduated 5 years ago, I would have come to hear you read.

And tacevedo . . . thank you! Come home safe.

Anonymous said...

MB-- My favorite dinners still come in cardboard boxes. Eating off plastic just means you don't have to do dishes that night.

Tacevedo--Thanks for keeping us safe. Praying you'll come home soon.

ShannJ said...

Tacevedo - Thank you! My thoughts and prayers are with you. Come home safe and sound - and soon!

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