Monday, January 22, 2007

"What Did You Get For Number 59?"

Josh The Pilot and I are taking part in Pre-Cana, which is a program set forth by the Catholic Church designed to prevent troubled marriages by making engaged couples sit in a mahogany-intensive room and fill in little ovals with a pencil.

The priest who will marry us gave us a personality test and one bottle of water each, then left us to our fates. As an interchurch couple, we were also to fill in Special Bonus Express Train To Hell Section of ten extra questions.

Some of the agree/disagree questions from the general portion:

"The behavior of my future spouse sometimes frightens me."

"My future spouse's moodiness causes problems."

"I think I will feel uncomfortable being nude in front of my marriage partner."

"I am hoping that marriage will solve some of the major problems in my life."

"I am upset by one or more of my future spouse's hobbies or recreational activities."

"I am wary of some sexual activities my marriage partner may ask of me."

"I think my future spouse spends too much time watching television."


"My future spouse is comfortable with the way I handle organization and order."


A+ at: mb@blondechampagne.com

12 comments:

Jenib said...

Oh wow-that brings back memories. I am not Catholic but thought it would score points with my future MIL and agreed to her suggestion of this (I was also considering converting). If you decide to just elope and not tell anyone until years after the big white fluffy wedding six months later, don't forget to let the church in on the news...they tend to not view things with the same humor that you might. (That was not my idea btw)

katemh said...

Our NFP class was taught by a couple who had 8 kids. "The great thing about NFP," they said, "is there's nothing to get in the way when the mood strikes you, and you just say, oh, what the heck! we'll have another." Yeah, nothing to get in the way...except those 8 other kids. Also, during the one-on-one counseling session with the priest(which they apparently do seperately to ensure that you, the bride, are not being kidnapped and forced to marry against your will), told my husband that if he divorced me he would go to hell. I love the Church!

Waxhaw5 said...

We filled in the circles with my family's v. stern parish priest. When the results came back, this man who had constant contact with my mother and grandmother read that my future husband was frightened by me, my misuse of money, and my drug problem! It took some pleading and begging and raised voices to get Fr to check the master and find out that the computer had misgraded my husband's paper and that I was not a scary lunatic druggie. Good times.

Josh The Pilot said...

Waxhaw5, do I know you? I went to Parkwood. I've lived all over, but I still call Waxhaw home. :)

Cbell said...

Then there is nothing more fun than giving a questionnaire to your best friend to fill out about the "real you" that will be analyzed and scrutinized by the counselor before you ever come into the office for marriage counseling. I have been that friend on more than one occasion. The idea that my friend's wedded bliss may hang in the balance according to my opinion of her and her future mate is daunting. And also, powerful.

E said...

Ah, yes. We took that test also. My favorite part was when the priest was questioning my future hubby intently, as he had accidentally marked "I don't think fidelity is important". He swears he just bubbled the wrong answer by mistake. I'm keeping a close eye on him either way.

Jean said...

Ahhh yes, I remember that. Nothing like advice about marriage from a celibate man. My husband still claims the Catholic church says he is N/A because he wasn't a member of a church at the time. Then they told us that we didn't agree on several other answer because the way they were written had him responding about me and vice versa so of course they weren't the same but they were correct. We had to argue about how the wording of the questions -- that's what you get when two lawyers get married. We don't argue -- we just cross-examine each other. =) We had already discussed all of this stuff so we asked if we could place out but they wouldn't let us. The sponsor couple would leave us alone to talk about our answers and we would talk about where to go to dinner afterwards. Eight years and one four year old later we are still hanging in there.

Dantelope said...

Am I the only sicko thinking #69 is the one they should have colluded on?

Just so you know, rabbis subject Jews to this tortuous test as well.

My wife and I were surprised to find out we agree on everything.

Later, we not surprised to discover that how you answer the test when you're first married change from year to year and, in the end, you will be completely incompatible.

The key is either to love something that doesn't change or to love the changes.

Also, the key to staying out of the hospital is to say "You're right, honey". And "You DO need new clothes... I'll watch the kids, you go shop and... hey, while you're at it, get a massage!"

red pill junkie said...

Back in my parents' days they didn't have these tests you're all talking about, but my father DID have to talk with the priest who was going to marry them, you know, routine stuff, to see how they were standing religiously. So what should have been a mere 20 min interview became a 4 HOUR THEOLOGICAL DEBATE between my old man and the priest! What can I tell you, like father like son ;-)

Jenib said...

Red pill junkie,

This happened to us. The deacon doing the initial counseling let it fly that his aim was to convince hubby not to marry a Non Catholic. I sat there silent for almost four hours watching them volley back and forth over doctrine. Hubby claims it is one of the only times I have ever been quiet...lol

~Anne said...

Hey, good times... Luckily my parish had a long married couple administer the test AND do the counseling. They were pretty easy on us (but we are sickeningly compatible). Hubby and I are both cradle Catholics, but that doesn't mean I'm not still intimidated by priests and disapproval! And I'm probably going to Hell for lying about us living together before the nuptials...

As it is the parish priest totally disregarded our thoughts and feelings about how we wanted our ceremony (my family likes high masses, his family emphatically does not - we wanted a mix). Make sure you get what you want in your ceremony!

Miasys said...

Dantelope, I love what you said, and it's so true... "The key is either to love something that doesn't change or love the changes."
That is really resonating with me- so many people I know are having marriage problems- this is simple, fab advice.

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