Thursday, January 04, 2007

Orange Line

Pat The Reader And Editor very kindly offered us IMAX tickets today, so Josh The Pilot and I went to meet her. It was a simple thing to accomplish, and we of course whizzed it, displaying our intense appreciation by appearing forty-five minutes late.

Given that the last time I was in Washington DC, I was thigh-cellulite deep into a depression I didn't even know I was in, an After School Special-level depression that made me peer between louver drape slats out at the rain and listen to Dido music without irony. I figured things couldn't get much worse this time around.

Lo, I have misunderestimated the Metro.

First there was a Parking Incident. We drove to a Metro station, conveniently located four inches out of the Beltway with stops every eight inches in between. There were no spaces, except for beneath signs reading NO PARKING HERE EVER EVER EVER, EXCEPT FOR EIGHT SECONDS EVERY OTHER TUESDAY AFTER THIS ONE BUT ONLY WHEN SAGITTARIUS IS IN PISCES AND A GIANTS LOSS COMBINES WITH A RAIDERS WIN AND JETS COVER. This was followed by an Incident of Tickets, in which we combined our decade of college education by attempting to cram our fare cards into slots positioned beneath touchpad screens that flashed WAVE CARDS HERE.

We then ratcheted down the tension by attempting to plot out our married-life budget during the train ride immediately following. Discussing how much income to allot to the separate churches the couple attends while both members are pissed and late and subjected to public transportation? These are the types of good communications decisions that are going to take us the distance.

Once off the Metro, everything took a turn for the homicidal; I will not get into the details except to report that the words "It's this way" and "No it's not" and "I cannot stand the way you exhale and then inhale again right after that" were employed.

Ah, this special, romantic time.

everybody direct apology rays in the general direction of Pat at: mb@blondechampagne.com

6 comments:

susan said...

Give to Doctors Without Borders and call it even.

tamar said...

Finished DTTL last night @ 1 a.m. You owe me 2 hours of sleep, ya know, while you're on this guilt trip of yours. ;)

If you wouldn't have written such a great book, my eyes would be opened when I typed this.

(I'm sure you won't, but I gotta say it:)

Don't miss seeing the National Cathedral! I was raised in the Methodist Church, and have fallen away. My hubby, stopped going to church at twelve, and he INSISTED we go. I didn't understand....until we got there. OMG! Awe inspiring!

Ok, got to go paint eyeballs on my lids, so boss man doesn't realize I'm sleeping. Hope y'all have a great time. :)

Anonymous said...

Just to let you know... those kind of trips get even better when your married. : )

heather the reader said...

Make sure the two of you don't miss the Air and Space Museum Annex by Dulles Airport. It has way more cool planes and a SPACE SHUTTLE (ok, it's the one that never went to space, but it is there!) and other space-y things like the machine they used to make space mirrors with and the trailer they made the first guys on the moon stay in while making sure they didn't bring back nasty moon diseases. Oh, and it has an IMAX there too and you don't have to get on the Metro to get there.

anne, a reader said...

Actually, I've found trips on public transportation are a somewhat good time to have these discussions - you're both aware you're in public so there probably won't be any shouting, you're trapped so you can't escape the discussion, and in the end, you can come to a decision and blame everything on the hideousness of the Metro, rather than each other.

MB said...

Tamar, you stayed up until 1 AM to read about me doing stomach crunches? A true The Reader, you are, and I thank you :)

Previous Tastings