Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Scrub

Now that I know I'm going to leave The Swamp, there is the issue of The Stain.

It appeared near my door on the day I moved in, pretty much immediately after I turned in my lease with all its "The Southern Comfort Splotches Were on the Ceiling When I Got Here" checklists. The Stain appears to be grease. I hope it is. I really, really hope it is.

I think the movers left it when they dragged a dolly across the floor. Perhaps, however, it's sin. I can't get it off the carpet. Every over-the-counter remedy has been applied; The Stain fades momentarily, and then returns, snickering. I am considering an exorcist.

Suggestions?

and yes, I tried BAM! at: mb@blondechampagne.com

18 comments:

Stealth Reader in Texas said...

MB,
I remember the days of apartment living! Strange smells,creepy neighbors,sorry kitchens. Ewww; don't miss that at all. Having faced the same cheap-carpet, can't-hide-me-spot, big-apartment-payoff, I resorted to being a devious ex-tenant. (This only works if your apartment has a little hall closet or something similar.) Cut the carpet out around the spot with a utility knife; make it a nice square or rectangle. Neatness counts! Pull up the small section from the hall closet and replace the cut out section with it; use double-sided tape and make sure you run the nap the same direction. Again, neatness counts; make a goofy cut and your "security" deposit is toast. Go to your favorite home improvement megastore and get a replacement piece for the closet. Here's the best part: it doesn't have to match exactly. Just get it close in color. Because you are a famous writer and a naturally nice person they may even give it to you for free since they usually have scrap material laying around; if not, it shouldn't run you more than about $5. Now I will admit this isn't the most honorable way to handle it, but if someone doesn't come up with a fantastic spot remover this will work. 7 bucks versus 700....see you at the Depot.

kredin said...

Now that you've tried the over-the-counter stuff I should caution you on using any of the professional cleaners. A friend of mine had the professionals clean his carpet after he tried the over-the-counter stuff and the chemicals reacted and turned the whole area black. It was originally beige carpet. He ended up putting in a hardwood floor.

ahjen7 said...

white vinegar + baking soda? i've gotten out red wine stains, chocolate, and various other fun things with this. also, worst comes to worst, mix bleach + water, and bleach that bad boy to sort of cream color, and hope that it's a cloudy day when they check for damage ;) good luck!

Jcat2323 said...

There's a stain remover I get at Walmart, I think it's call spot shot or something like that. It's a blue can with a bright orange cap. My brother is a mechanic and he said that stuff has gotten grease out of carpets for him before. I've used it to get mudstains off of grey carpet car floormats when nothing else worked. Just beware it might take some of the color out too.
With the carpet having the dappled brown pattern, you could always get some brown fabric dye and use it as concealer if you can't get the grease gone completely. Go light instead of dark, just enough to camouflage (NOT completely cover) the dark grease color.

Laney said...

MB, I'm not sure about the "health codes" in FL, but here in TN apartments have to completely change out the carpet every time a tenant that has lived in the unit for a certain amount of time moves out. That’s why they have such crappy carpet in apartments. I know this cause my husband burned a hole in the carpet of our first apartment(Actually he melted a hole in the carpet, but anyway…). I asked my cousin who works for a management company about it. She told me it didn’t matter because they would have to completely re-carpet the apartment anyway. But if you want to try to get it out yourself maybe try calling a car parts distributor. They may sell something (like Simple Green) that could be safe to use on carpet. Just a suggestion.

Anonymous said...

Yep, Spot Shot is magic!

my kidz mom said...

to Stealth Reader: with your detailed been-there-done-that post, easy to see why you would want to stay anon. Brilliantly clever solution - hats off to you!

grammar_queen said...

My last apartment, the carpet in front of the door was horribly stained with mud when we left, but we still got our deposit back. They replaced the carpet right before we moved in, and I assume they replaced it when we moved out. So long as it's clean, I wouldn't sweat it about the stain. That being said, I've had a lot of success with the Clorox Bleach Pen at my house.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure about carpets, but my dad used to be a mechanic and still works with greasy stuff from time to time and uses paint thinner on his hands and clothes from time to time to get out grease. (I know, I'm also surprised he doesn't have cancer yet). Also, I wouldn't use any gas stoves, candles, etc in the vicinity for some days.

Nicko McDave said...

It looks like the mysterious faces of Belmez have relatives in Florida.

Anonymous said...

Gasoline thats right! When all else fails thats what a carpet cleaner friend of mine uses on those hard spots and stains. Octane doesn't matter. He says he puts it in a nondescript squirt bottle to be discreet. Just make sure you shampoo really good after using. He used it on my carpet and it works and there is no residual odor.

AlaskaMe said...

SPOT SHOT is awesome and if you don't have a Walmart close by I know Safeway sells it to. Publix might too don't know. If that gets the color out I then recommend using Simple Green to actually get the grease out or everytime you walk over it the grease will pull the dirt back into it and the stain comes back. Oxy Clean is also a good back up. If after it dries you notice the carpet is lighter it is often times the product left behind so just rinsing it should help.

Anonymous said...

Spot Shot cleared up my herpes, brought back my dog from the dead, and landed me a million dollar acting job.

You just can't live without it.

I'm most certain that all the warnings of Happy Fun Ball apply to Spot Shot as well....

Susannah said...

As crazy as it may sound, try spraying it with Windex and then scrubbing.
Yes, I had several unidentifiable stubborn stains on my carpet.
Yes, I watched "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" too many times.
Yes, the stains disappeared.
I have no idea what kind of magick was in that bottle of Windex, but it was nothing short of a miracle.

amy lou the reader said...

Try Dawn dish detergent. They use it to clean up animals after oil spills, and it might just suck the grease right out of the carpet.

I use it on laundry that gets grease on it.

I think they make varieties that are either clear and/or yellow, just in case the blue/green/orange varieties would leave traces.

red pill junkie said...

Put down a plant pot...

You're welcome ;-)

Anonymous said...

Wow, what great suggestions! if I ever need stain advice, I guess I know who to ask!

Jill said...

Amy Lou, that was what I was going to suggest. The stain is probably coming back because it wasn't taken out completely when you cleaned it before. (I'm a chemist, I know these things!!!) :-) If you have residue from the grease, more dirt sticks to the area. Use dish soap, scrub lots, and then get all the soap out. If you don't, your stain will mysteriously appear again (or just clean it RIGHT before you move out so they can't see it!). If this doesn't work, your stain is the devil and will never leave.

Previous Tastings