Thursday, December 21, 2006

Merge

A few friends have sent me "Congratulations on Being Engaged ELOOOOOOOOOOOPE" cards, which are lovely and much appreciated and accidentally hilarious. "Cherish this special, romantic time," one says. Last week I threw my special, romantic sneaker at the special, romantic wall.

This was precipitated by the groom having the audacity to tell me to stop work on the invitations, because he had perceived that I was becoming overwhelmed.

Thus began a torrent of bridal screeching, a diatribe entitled "I Am Working So Hard On This Wedding And YOU DON'T EVEN CARE." It covered an impressive rage of wedding-related topics, including, but not limited to:

-Ageism in Western culture
-The lamentable condition of my windshield wipers
-Something called "halogen fluid"
-Grade inflation at the university level
-My raging self-hatred
-Windows XP

The closing line consisted of "...and I have PMS!"

The groom then spoke for the first time in twenty minutes. "But you're dealing with it very well."

I am much better today. I merely hurled pillows into the couch during the fight over the videographer.

advil at: mb@blondechampagne.com

11 comments:

MJ said...

See, they never tell you about all this when you are a kid. If we brides were told how stressful all this wedding planning was we might never want to get married.

While planning our wedding, we always managed to have a fight during some crucial event, such as mailing the invitations or paying the deposit.

On our honeymoon, my newly minted husband made the remark that I was back to my old, happy self. He, of course, had not been stressing over the perfect favors or how to wear his hair or what dress was just right for the past 12 months.

With your inflatable arch and light up shoes, I'm sure you are going to get through it just fine! :)

Josh The Pilot said...

I love you, Tink!

Ophelia said...

They don't call them "Bridezilla's" for nothing!!

Having been right where you're at a few years ago, take this to heart: it's not the destination but how you get there that you will really remember. You are going to have these fits of rage and despair. If you don't, you're doing something wrong. Enjoy these moments because they tend to further strengthen your bond.

Amy said...

Awww....Hugs for you, MB!

The wedding planning can be stressful, but it will be okay. Really it will.

j said...

just WAIT until you get to the registry section of the wedding planning. I think I had my meltdown in the towel section of "Bed, Bath, and Beyond", it was not pretty.

Don't worry, MB, wedding planning is kind of like a playing dodgeball in middle school - you know it's going to suck, but hey, at least lunch is after gym period.

red pill junkie said...

You should try to relax by considering that, no matter how much effort and work you put on the wedding, something will innevitably GO WRONG. Someone will screw up on something, like me when my older sister married and I almost choked her and the groom to death with that ropy thing that you put around the couple during the ceremony, and kind of looks like the rosary of King Kong! And 25 years from now it won't be a matter of sorrow but of laughter. At least for me it is! ;-)

Jcat2323 said...

I've been revisiting the archives (cause I'm bored at work and they're still entertaining the second time) and I found this little tidbit from 11/20/2003.
"I have this feeling that God is saving me up for somebody really, really spectacular who is going to drop into my life when I least expect it. He's this, like, astronaut/billionaire/duke/rockstar who finds my lack of control over my own hair endearing and understands why it's so important for a model lightsaber to have the proper heft. We're going to make each other laugh while we're mucking stalls or having dinner at the White House. He is going to be awesome, and I will gently hold his heart like the miracle it is."
I hate to get all philosophical and say "And this too shall pass" but it will. Just remember why you're having this whole wedding thing in the first place.

Josh The Pilot said...

Jcat2323: I'm not an "astronaut/billionaire/duke/rockstar", but I do find MB's lack of control over her hair endearing, and I did willingly accompany her to the Episode III midnight premier and we cried together at the end. Also, I'm not too far from the White House, and officially the President is my boss now, so we'll see what happens with dinner. :-)

anne, a reader said...

You still have plenty of time to work on things like invitations - just relax and enjoy the holidays. Sometimes you just need to step away. Just think of the light-up shoes, and your spirits will lift!

Jcat2323 said...

JTP: Close enough. : )
(I'm sure you've got a little Duke in your ancestry, and flight controller (sorry, I don't remember your official title) is close to astronaut. They both spend a lot of time watching the sky, right?)

ShannJ said...

Hugs MB - it does get better - you know, like when the wedding is over. Then the real fun begins! :-)

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