Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Postage

Today's Person Who Rocks is whoever invented self-adhesive postage.

I sent out the birth announcements for Drink To The Lasses to family members, older friends who fear the computer (not that I blame them, sometimes), former teachers who thought I went blessedly away, and a general mish-mash of people to whom I wanted to be all, "Yeah, I wrote a book."

They are postcards. The front is the book cover, and here is the back:

My postcard is awesome. Far from awesome, however, is the phsyical act of spreading the awesome.

I put a bunch in the mailboxes of some of my co-workers, and I only counted three in the trash can next to the mailboxes the next day, which means the cleaning crew probably spared me the sight of all of the annoucements in there by removing the bulk of them the previous night. Sweet. Gettin' the word out. I am a marketing juggernaut.

The rest, though, I had to mail. With postage. From the post office. I got a sheet of sticky stamps, then proceeded to stand in high heels for the bulk of my lunch break peeling and sticking and in general arming myself with the ability to commit major crimes because I now no longer have fingerprints.

Far better, however, than the alternative: I remember sitting with my mother and aunts to send out the invitations for my grandparents' golden wedding anniversary, and this was in 1988, when pterodactyls filled the sky and you had to lick your stamps if you wanted anything to go anywhere. So we stamped and sealed all these invites, with the reply cards tucked snugly inside, and were sitting around congratulating ourselves on a mailing well done when somebody suddenly wondered why we had all these extra stamps lying around.

I have not been able to look at the postage aisle of Staples quite the same way since.

So I was going peel-stick, peel-stick, peel-stick, muttering, "I bet they don't make Stephen King peel-stick" when suddenly one of my beloved birth announcements bit me in the hand. Paper cut, author down. No triage available.

But I had to get to class, so onward I peel-stuck. So for some of you who will be recieving these postcards... the... red smears near the stamp area is a... printing error.

peel-stick at: mb@blondechampagne.com

8 comments:

mike, hollow weenie said...

Ooooooh! Can I have one with extra blood, please?

AlaskaMe said...

Yeah if someone gets one of the red smear ones. Save it, worth more! You might be able to sell it and buy a house someday. Or at least a gallon of gas. One down nine to go.

red pill junkie said...

Well, you poured sweat and tears on the book when writing it. Might as well go along with the blood when advertising it. But that should be the end of bodily fluids spent on DTTL!! ;-)

ShannJ said...

You should market them as an added bonus - an autographed book and a postcard with genuine MB DNA!

lina the reader said...

Hey MB

I have a question of a somewhat serious nature. How much would you say that this site has contributed to your rapidly rising popularity and status as a real grown-up writer lady?

Anonymous said...

Question for the Professor. Phsyical act of spreading the awesome.

MB said...

That's a good question, Lina. The site helps me feel VERY much like a grown-up writer lady, as I have gotten a couple of writing offers from editors who have seen my work here. It also keeps me in touch with readers, which is vital for any writer. Finally, from a craft point of view, the blog makes sure I'm writing every single day (well, most days.) That helps keep the skids greased, so to speak :)

mike, ill communication said...

Upon further review, I actually don't want one with extra blood.

The more of MB's DNA that's on the postcard, the more likely it will be to get lost in transit to here. :)

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