Thursday, October 05, 2006

If You're In Town

Today I informed my students that I was once again leaving town.

One raised his hand. "Are you going back to France?"

"No, but I am leaving the country."

"Where are you going?"

"Manhattan."

Random House has arranged for us a reading for the Formerly SuperSecretDoubleProbation Project. It's on Tuesday, October 10, at 7 PM. Location: KGB Bar. Because religious oppression and gulags are just so adorable, they easily translate to a theme bar. Opening soon down the street: The SS Lounge!

I get three minutes to boil down a 5000-word essay. I have an additional disadvantage by having a longer name that most of the other authors. People with an articulated middle name should get an extra four seconds.

We were given the reading order today, and I am... dead last. This either means I'm the big shebang finish, or, more likely, the publicists wanted to wait until potential customers are drunk as possible to introduce me.

I'll need someone to hold my purse at: mb@blondechampagne.com

14 comments:

Jcat2323 said...

Did you write your own description on the author list? Yours is the only one more than 2 lines long that doesn't sound like a resume.

MB said...

I thank you, jcat, for we did write our own author descriptions. I have to do EVERYTHING around here, Random House!

Kyle Minor said...

Going last, trust me, is because you are, as Snoop Dogg would say, the shiz-nit. I'll be keeping sober so I don't miss it!

MB said...

Kyle, I'm awful-glad excited to meet you. OHIO POWER! or something.

Kyle Minor said...

Around here they say "Go, Buckeyes," and they do this weird letter thing with their arms and hands, but I'm from Florida, so I don't do all that nonsense.

MB said...

Well, now I'm kinda from Florida, too, so perhaps that's why that whole description made me slightly ill. I SO do not root for Ohio State (sorry, I know you teach there and all, but... bleah.)

mike, who hates the suckeyes said...

I'm thinking in New York, going last is an honor and not a curse.

Also, Kyle, your essay was outstanding. (I wonder where in the order he is.)

Doddy said...

It's like in academia right, the first person did all the work and the last one is taking all the credit. Thos is the middle are just filler (sorry Kyle).

So just this MB, you get to take credit for everyone's work (whether you want to or not)...

MB said...

Oh-- no, I couldn't possibly take credit for Kyle. He's far too awesome :)

Jennifer_Glaser said...

I am going to be so glad to meet you and Kyle. Despite my lack of Ohio credentials, I hope we can all bond over reading angst. p.s. I was wondering about the meaning of the reading order, too. I am going right before you, MB. My pet theory was that they wanted to alternate between depressing and enjoyable essays ;-)...

MB said...

Jennifer, actually, the thing that freaks me out the most about the reading order is I am going to have to directly follow YOU and your absolutely brilliant essay. I've been considering flinging very small rocks to distract you :)

mike, twentynothing said...

Hey, wow, another of the exceptionally good essays' authors has shown up.

MB, don't know if you've seen, but the Random House website has a blurb that mentions your essay first:

"A slice of Gen Y life: everything from OCD, rape, and depression to a nude-art-class model, online communities, and how to find (and keep) a drummer. Pick up your copy."
–stuff@night (Boston)

I don't know what's worse: the fact that they mentioned OCD before rape and depression, or that now we have to have the generation argument again . . .

MB said...

Thanks, Mike, I just stumbled across that. Maybe they did the therapy stunners in reverse alphabetical order?

Doddy said...

No need to through small rocks MB. I know a guy who knows some guys called Gregor (that's Russian for Guido) if you know what I mean... They'd fit riht in at the KGB bar.

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