Monday, September 25, 2006

Le Pleghm

When I returned to the U.S., the customs guy stamped my passport and said in the flattest tones possible, "Welcome back", as in, "Oh... you again."

Everyone has been all, "How was your trip?" and it defies a single-word description, so this is going to require several days worth of posts. I'll start by thanking all of you for continuing to visit even when I wasn't here, and especially to Josh The Pilot for doing such a bang-up job while I was gone. There's an episode of Frasier in which Niles takes over the radio show for a day while his brother is sick, and Frasier is furious that he does so well: "The little brat is scintillating!" So now I will curl into a small ball and try to forget that my boyfriend can not only fly planes and tell them where to go, he also has the ability to craft the likes of "she has enough underwear, glitter, and graham crackers in her other bag."

I mentioned when I opened the comments section that I hoped it would become a little family, and indeed it has, complete with football-related knife fights. I missed you guys and wondered every day what types of intellectual discussions were taking place in my absence, eager to discover exactly how long it would take before the topic of vomit came around.

We had 18-hour days in France, and as Josh has mentioned I become exhausted by such strenuous activities as lifting several paper clips at once, so my chief souvieneir is a low-grade fever and peanut shell-riddled khakis from when I almost fainted in one of the many, many security lines at the airport and the Air France people brought me a little seat to rest on that was also conveneinetly attached to a garbage can. YOU try not passing out while people are angrily hurling nearly-full water bottles at your head. (The Transportation Safety Administration, I was pleased to note, waited until the moment my plane touched down in The Swamp before lifting liquid product restrictions.)

As we all know the very best thing to do when one is congested is to climb onto an airplane for eleven hours, so I swam back from Paris on a river of red wine and phlegm. Don't worry, I'll unpack the champagne and tales of blondeness tomorrow.

back to bed at: mb@blondechampagne.com

13 comments:

the buxom wench said...

Welcome back, MB :). Have a lovely sleep and feel better soon! Love, Heather :)x

tamar said...

Yay! You're home! JTP did a wonderful job, but it is AWESOME to have you back! ;)

Carrie said...

It must be France, I came back with a cold and was sick and jet lagged for days. Luckily I had the great OJ Simpson chase to watch on tv!

I'm glad you're back and I can't wait to read all about the trip. Rest up, take it easy, tell your students to back off or you'll fail them all!

tamar said...

Oh, sure...NOW they publish this...

http://travel.msn.com/Guides/article.aspx?cp-documentid=347901>1=8599

;)

tamar said...

Sorry, copy and paste link please :)

wurwolf said...

Hey! What happened to my Josh the Pilot blog? Who are you?!

Welcome back. :o)

Cbell said...

It is a European trip thing to come back ill. When I got on my plane in London, I was fine. When I landed in Atlanta, I was completely congested AND had completely lost my voice. My friends and family were fairly irritated that I could not describe my trip to them.

Stay in bed until its safe to return to society! You'll feel better in the long run! Welcome home.

my kidz mom said...

Welcome back aux Etats-Unis! (That's about all I can remember from high school francais.) And don't be so quick to dismiss le pleghm; truth be told, it is the secret ingredient to authentically pronouncing the language.

Monica said...

HA! The secret to correctly pronouncing the language?!?! LOL!! "My kidz Mom", you are so funny (and right!)! The spray that is a byproduct of the correct pronounciation of the French language is probably why illnesses spread so fast over there. I wonder if the World Health Organization has studied this...

Dantelope said...

it's not the French's fault they're stupid, ugly, and pretentious.

No... I blame the freak overload of mimes in that country for most of its troubles.

Kill the mimes... world peace.

lina the reader said...

When I went to France, I had zero problems. But once I got to Italy, it felt like my air passages were completely closed and my nose was a faucet. Groooooss.

I'm so excited to hear about your trip!! You better post pictures.

red pill junkie said...

Bienvenida de vuelta. So glad you're back and (reasonably) well. That would be another good "Ask Josh the Pilot" question: How to avoid the worst effects of jet lag...

PD: I got my "20 something..." copy last weekend! The very first to cross the Rio Grande I'll bet ;-)

Anonymous said...

Welcome back, MB. In case you haven't heard since you're back in the States - don't eat California spinach. I look forward to tales of your adventures with Jacques Chirac.

Sincerely,
grampyclaus

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