Monday, August 14, 2006

Sleep tight!

I had to fly recently, and the following slid right through the airport's crack security in my carry-on and purse:

1. sanitizing hand gel
2. foundation makeup

The plane somehow did not fall out of the sky.

Randomly selected people had to go through the Puff Arch, which is a doorway-like looking... arch... that shoots big jets of air underneath the passenger's clothes. I lost count of the number of things upsetting about this, and was very sad I had thought to wear a skirt. Because when we retain our dignity, the terrorists win.

remove your shoes please at: mb@blondechampagne.com

17 comments:

SassyQuack said...

I too had the great fun of traveling in the last few days. Turns out...while I and all of those other crazies who signed up for 6a.m. flights dutifully showed up 2 hours early per our instructions, Northwest employees did not deign to show up until 5-allowing a huge blockage to form of people trying to check their aftershave...so as each flight was nearing departure, passengers were rushed through security to get onboard. How the heck are we supposed to be kept safe with organization like that? I mean, I made it onto the plane with LIP GLOSS!!

PS-I am irrationally TERRIFIED of the Puff Arch. Plus-if anything is shooting puffs of air under my clothes, it needs to at least buy me dinner first.

tamar said...

True, I have not had to travel recently, so I do not know how truly annoying it may have been. However, IMHO, They can strip everyone down to there skivies and make them fly like that, if it would avert any more tragedy.

There were women smuggling the explosive in their babies bottles, for ____ sake!! Can you blame them for trying to be cautious? I personally am very happy that they were caught in time! I'm sure it was annoying, but can't we have a leetle cheer? Score one for the good guys!

seekinghim said...

My husband made it on the plane with his nose spray last Thursday, after dumping many dollars worth of other toiletries. Love the line about "when we retain our dignity, the terrorists win."

MB said...

Tamar, I'm with you-- yay for the good guys. I'm not complaining about the extra precautions, if that's what it takes, but what's scary is that they didn't follow through on it. I'm just a little freaked that my TWO gel-based products made it onto the aircraft. Earlier this year I got on board with a ladies' razor in my purse.

Anonymous said...

I want the Puff Arch Operator Job!

Rick said...

"Because when we retain our dignity, the terrorists win."

I think they've already won. They don't have to kill us; they don't have to blow up anything else. They have made us so fearful and paranoid that we can no longer act rationally. They can make us squirm, jump to new heights of inconvenience, and give up more freedoms simply by saying they're going to blow up something in some new and novel way.

Soon we'll all be flying nude after a mandatory body cavity search and relinquishing your dental fillings or dentures (how do we know they're not explosive?). Your carry-on bags and your luggage will be flown ahead on a separate plane and the TSA will stamp the back of your hand so you can claim them, along with your clothing, at your destination. Meal service on all flights will be suspended and lavatories will be removed from all airliners because we all know how those plastic utensils can be used as weapons and you could be doing who knows what in the lavatory.

"We hope you enjoyed your flight and please fly with us again."

tamar said...

I see. My apologies, I took it differently. :)

Anonymous said...

If you know they are asking you not to carry liquids on the plane, why are you even trying to carry items through?

Security is doing the best we can, but we could make it safer for ourselves if we would just do our part and obey the rules.

eternaldamnation said...

Puff Arch!!!! Why would they need to puff air under my clothes?

This actually incites a bit of terror in me.

Margaret said...

Nothing to do with flying...just heard your voice on MSNBC and you sounded so....c a l m

Anonymous said...

Shortly after 9/11 I flew to Italy and back with a lead bag for my film (which no one checked) and, unbeknownst to me at the time, a tiny Swiss army knife, which went through security in Chicago, Zurich, & Rome without a blip. When I was unpacking and found it in my carry-on, I was really surprised & a little worried. I could have done some damage with that fake-ivory toothpick!

SassyQuack said...

Hey anonymous...obviously you are not a woman with a bottomless handbag. Sometimes, you just don't remember that your extra tube of makeup or emergency bad breath spray is lurking there in the corners containing the wadded up kleenex! We all try our best.

I'm sure security is doing the best they can...but when I show up on time and they do not-I have issues.

Monica said...

Anonymous, your question about why we are trying to carry liquids on the plane made me laugh. I don't know about the rest of you, but I travel a lot. I rarely unpack anything other than dirty laundry.

The new rules for carry-on items forced me to go through all of my carefully compacted carry-on compartments to make sure my emergency supplies were all removed. These supplies are things I rarely use, but like to know that I have on hand - items such as:

- Neosporin
- Eye drops
- lip gloss
- hand cream
- saline
- Cortaid
- sunscreen for my face

Normally, I never even have to check and see if I have packed these items. I often forget they are even there, until I have an itch or lose a contact. Now I'm going to have to bleed and fidget for hours after I get a papercut on the Sky Mall mag because I can't slap some Neosporin on.

Having vented, I must say that it was good that I went through the bag. I found $14 and my missing mailbox key. The bag is much lighter now, and I have done my part for national security. However, I won't be surprised if security finds the odd tube of lipgloss or jar of eye cream. I did my best, but that bag has so many compartments...

MB said...

I would answer your question, anonymous, but sassyquack and Monica already went through my purse and answered it for me.

Tamar, as always, no worries :)

Dantelope said...

Rick, it's not terrorists that do that to you, it's your government. And the media.

Terrorists frightened me only once, and that was on 9/11.

Since then, my government and its media have repeatedly tried to scare me at an alarming rate.

There is no "win" or "lose" in all of this. It's a sad, sad chapter in humanity, and I'm going to go ahead and guess that it's just going to get a whole lot worse before it ever gets better. You can't "score one for the good guys", Tamar. I wish you could. But so far long delays, demeaning processes and attitudes, loss of dignity, and even the decay or elimination of basic rights are what it takes to be "good guys"...

You see... there are many ways to skin a cat. Just because one way works doesn't mean there aren't better ways.

Oh great, now you made me all get up and go political. Damn you.

Anonymous said...

The 'air puffs' don't blow under your clothes a la M. Monroe..they just burst around and at you...my 5 year old son handled it just fine...I think you can too.

seekinghim said...

Speaking of what fear can do to society, anybody seen "V for Vendetta?" Oooooh, yikes! (Great movie, btw.)

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