The Crowd Turns

The Great Raft of Faculty Meetings bumped to shore today, but not before the following moment of academic greatness:

IMPORTANT COLLEGE PERSON: The meeting will be fifteen minutes shorter than expected today.

PROFESSORS: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

IMPORTANT COLLEGE PERSON: Because one of our presenters had a heart attack.

PROFESSORS: ...

I remark upon this largely because it was the first time in my entire life I saw a roomful of PhDs go completely silent. Somebody kind of said "Oh..." towards the back, but it was the total abashment of maybe sixty academics at once. It was like: "Your insurance company is buying you a new house!" (audience roars) "Because the old one was trampled by stampeding gazelles!" (Audience: crickets)

Then they started the PowerPoint presentation about department budget allocations, and how undesirable people such as adjuncts should be hired as little as possible, and everybody pepped right up again.

stapling colorful shapes to the classroom bulletin boards at: mb@blondechampagne.com