Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Conversations In the Dark

A few weeks ago, in the middle of the night, Josh The Pilot and I had one of those intense, couple-y, scary, I-would-never-say-these-things-at-two-in-the-afternoon conversations. You know. One of Those. We talked about careers, our relationship, what can be done about Howie Mandell. I became upset at one point and he said, "Look, we're both tired, it's one in the morning, and this is a conversation in the dark." And then I went to sleep and he went to sleep, for he was right, of course.

I think world peace negotiations need to take place in the dark, in a car, in the rain. You'll admit things to shadows that you wouldn't to a blue sky or Sylvania bulb, blazing. It's like when Jim The Small Child Nephew used to burrow his face into the corner of the couch, shrieking smugly (I tell you, a one-year-old can shriek smugly), because we would never find him now that he'd removed us from his line of sight. What we say in the dark has weight, falls heavily to the ground, unlike daytime sentences; and indeed words of the night float away in the morning, so that we don't trip on them on our way out of bed.

It is no coincidence that baseball, lovely baseball, is our only sport primarily played in the dark, for here is when it is at its most lyrical. Basketball, eh. That's the problem with basketball. Harsh lights and buzzing.

I bet you can trace the most intensely emotional moments of your existence to the deep cavern of some night. The specifics are likely lost to the rocking waves of your everyday life, and you may not have decided to leave a job, resolved to call him, or cured athlete's foot.

But I bet you thought about it.

written in the dark, of course at: mb@blondechampagne.com


Jenib said...

Hubster unit have made it a point to try and have one conversation before we go to bed much like you described. Those are the best ones to have. We have been having those kinds of conversations for almost 13 years now and I treasure them way more than the normal day to day ones.
About Howie: you can't fix him. He will have to do that himself or people around him will just have to accept him, quirks and all.

Jenib said...

"Hubster unit and I"

Attitude Amy said...

I agree that peace talks should be held in the dark. Let's face it folks, politics really is show business for ugly people. I say we go back to the fire side chats only. No more politicians on TV. No wonder our country is in such a foul mood. We are faced with ugliness on a daily basis.

The Kennedy’s are the closest we ever got to seeing something appealing. And, really, J.F.K wasn't that good looking. We just thought he was because of what he was standing next to (like Richard Nixon). He was basically an average looking guy who became drop dead gorgeous once he got into politics. Hmmmnn. Perhaps I should go into politics. Of course, Ted Kennedy ruined the illusion of Camelot. I'm talking of his looks, not his drunken, murderous escapades. An ugly person in want of fame has only one alternative to politics and that is America's Most Wanted/Cops. Perhaps Ted was going for double fame.

Well, folks, until our country wises up and initiates a ban on light during interviews or news concerning politicians, we will just have to collectively turn down the brightness on our TV sets. In a show of solidarity, let us together as one nation, withdrawal our remotes from their holsters and point them simultaneously at our TV sets and dim that brightness level to a darkness so dark that no ugliness can be seen. Let us rise triumphantly together remote in hand this Thursday night during the six o'clock news of your choice. Let us band together my brothers and sisters for a like-minded cause of world beautification. Next month, we'll work on the volume thing. Politician's voices are kind of annoying too.

What do you say sister suffragette? Are you with me?!!

...fade to black....

Dragonfly Soup said...

Amazingly well put.

Ophelia said...

Wow. That's about all I can say because you pretty much said it all.
You are so right, MB. In so many different ways.

And, I agree with jenib: I don't think we can do anything about Howie.

Jcat2323 said...

So true! And not only do my boyfriend and I have our best conversations in the dark, we also have our worst arguments in the dark. It's always easier to tell someone exactly what you think when you don't have to say it to their (visable) face. Probably why I love email.
Is baseball really played in the dark? Some games are at night, true, but they light the field up like a summer day at noon. At least they play outside, like all sports should be. I've always figured that the 'night' aspect is why Sunday and Monday night football is so popular (compared to the sunday day games). I think it's because everything looks shinier under the blazing artifical light. (Admit it, no matter how old we get, we all like shiny things.)

savannah the college student said...

Hey, what's wrong with Howie?!

red pill junkie said...

I just finished reading ESSAY ABOUT BLINDNESS by José Saramago. Very good novel, although very depressing also. It's a fictional tale that describes what happens when everybody in the world becomes blind, and the major thesis held in the book is this: Our eyes prevent us from seeing the world AS IT REALLY IS.

If you happen to find this book, I recommend it to you inmensely, although it is not for touchy personalities.

kredin said...

I've found the best conversations in the dark consist of her rambling and my snoring.

Yes... I'm the warm, sensitive type.

Dantelope said...

While I long for these "dark chats", mostly I get this:

Me: Hey, baby.
The Significant Other (TSO): Hey
Me: Have you ever wondered....
TSO: *urk* zzzzzzz uhhh, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (click click) zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Me: Awww, hell, not again.
TSO: *urk* zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So, I find myself wanton for intellectual discussions with people -- and hence, I frequent this place.

And dammit, Howie was funny. In the 80s. Once.

mike the longterm reader said...

Howie Mandel rules.

That is all.

TAMAR said...


Is TSO a robot? Just curious regarding the 'click,click' part.
If she is, be sure to keep on the look out for machine gun jublies, I hear that they're dangerous. I have also heard that if you posses copious body hair, bad teeth and hair(of the head), it is possible to strip down to your unders and defeat them with your ''mojo'' (And yes, I am totally finger quotation'ing you there. Deal.)

If she is indeed not a robot, please disregard this post! :)

Jules said...

I can totally climb into and comfortably sit in that comment you made about how the most intensely emotional moments surfacing at night, lying in bed. It's almost like an indictment on my life.

On another completely unrelated note, any chance you would have a problem with me posting a link on my blog to yours? ;-)

MB said...

Jules, I would only have a problem with you NOT posting a link :) Thanks for the compliment.

Jules said...

I suppose that pretty much sinks it, then.....

Have a look-see. I hope that you are bursting with pride in that you are the very first mention on the list, since I started the list with you. :P

In any case, I think you are a terrific writer, and I would be honored (and might even blush a little!) if you were to take a look at my musings once in a while yourself.

The second post on the blog (it's a baby blog) sort of explains what's going on.

Keep up the great work.

MB said...

Thanks Jules! Congratulations on going back to school-- a tough road, and I admire you for taking it :)

Attitude Amy said...

red pill junkie:

I believe you would enjoy the writings of John Locke. How do we determine what reality is? John Locke seems to have the answers. I also believe that JJ Abrams must have based one of his main characters off of Locke's writings. He even named one of the main characters John Locke, on Lost. He also uses some John Locke on Alias, like the mention of the "Horizon", a John Locke term. I am just assuming Abrams is using Locke's theories, but it seems there are too many coincidences to believe other wise. Perhaps folks should read John Locke if they want to find out the "secret" to Lost.

Happy Reading

mj said...

One of the best posts I've read in a long time (got here from msnbc by the way). One of the reasons I love going on vacation with my friends is the middle of the night talks. That's when I let we let our pretenses drop and find out who we really are.

MB said...

Thank, mj. I'd love it if you stuck around for a while and visited with us on a regular basis :)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
red pill junkie said...

thanks so much for the advise attitude amy.I'll begin to browse on the wikipedia's John Locke entry immediately :-)

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