Wednesday, March 08, 2006


-I liked "Achy Breaky Heart."

-We need to bring back the Latin Mass. Also, bangle bracelets.

-I have never seen, nor do I plan to watch, 24.

-Or The Sopranos.

-Joel Grey is very attractive.

-I have absolutely no desire to see Cirque du Soleil.

-Swing dancing should have never gone out. Either time.

-Bill Simmons is wearing on me. (I wanted to write that he is a self-indulgent, one-trick pony, but then I remembered that I myself am a self-indulgent, one-trick pony. Have you read my archives? It's the same four jokes with different sparkly hair ribbons. But at least I recognize this about myself, and do not inflict upon the world 5,000 word essays every other week about the FREAKING CELTICS.)

-Gasoline fumes=delightful olfactory experience.

-This will come as a total shock to him, but I really don't care what George Clooney thinks.

-Coffee is icky. For the world's best caffeine injection, go to one of those cappuccino machines in a 7-11. French Vanilla for Plebes, awwwwwwww yeah.

I mean it at:


syncopated_rhythm said...

Bring on the Pater Nosters!!

Anonymous said...

Um, yeah. The problem with Achy Breaky Heart was not the music . . . which was, in fact, quite catchy. It was the Mullet, Tank Top, High Top Reebok wearing dweeb who sang it and then went on to star in "Doc" on the PAX channel. Yet another reason why Christian entertainment, like Rodney Dangerfield, gets no respect.

Starnarcosis said...

I also kinda liked Achy Breaky Heart until the guy running the carousel at the county fair decided that he would play it 14 hours a day for the next six days. I have a chill now whenever I encounter a carousel horse...

Pam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pam said...

Sorry, MB, gotta disagree with you on Joel Grey -- he's just plain creepy. It's the eyes, they don't appear human. Of course, my opinion may stem from his stint on Buffy the Vampire Slayer playing an evil quasi-demon with a tail who can change his eyes to solid black, so maybe I'm biased.

Cbell said...

I don't really care what George Clooney thinks either... but he's not that bad to stare at...

Miasys said...

Now I have that song stuck in my head. I guess I should thank you for removing the theme song to "Dora the Explorer", but don't hold your breath. I agree with you on Clooney. James Spader is way sexier. It's all in the inflection. oh, yeah.

Ophelia said...

"Gasoline fumes = delightful olfactory experience."

Thank you, MB. I thought I was the only one. Thank you.

I don't pay attention to what Clooney says too much but he is definitely easy on the eyes and there is something about his voice that can make my knees all weak.

As for Cirque du Soleil - you might be surprised, I sure as hell was. The only problem I had with it was I was constantly asking myself: "How did they DO that? Do they have any bones in their bodies? Damn, that makes yoga look easy! Wow, 115 pounds seems fat compared to them"

Lizzy said...

Maybe Joel Grey circa 1972, not sexy, but intriguing. For those of us who live in Conoco states, the French Vanilla Caps are the best.

lina the reader said...

I'm all for the Latin mass. Gregorian chant is where it's at.

I didn't care a thing about George Clooney until recently (Hi. Guess what? You're never gonna be Batman). Then I saw Good Night, and Good Luck. Fan-freaking-tastic.

Dantelope said...

Liking "Achy Breaky Heart" is no sin. Singing it in the car after you've accidentally and unknowingly dialed your sister.... well...

If by Latin Mass you mean Luciano Pavarotti, I agree. Jews don't like the other kind.

As for the bracelets, well, people define fashion, not the items they wear. So if you want it back in, wear them.

I have never missed, nor do I plan to miss, an episode of 24.

I don't get HBO, otherwise I'd never miss the Sopranos, either.

Joel Who???

I've seen Cirque du Soleil. Ya'll know how I feel about mimes.

Don't matter if it's swing dancing or any other kind -- if you see me doing it, RUN.

Bill Who???

Gasoline fumes may be delightful... but I think lighting them provides the proper accompanying visual experience.

George Clooney..... thinks?????

Coffee is icky. But come now, isn't cappuccino coffee, too? Every geek knows the best caffeine injection comes from JOLT COLA.

Miasys said...

Just realized I have season 1 of the Muppet Show and Joel Grey was the Guest Star on Show 3. How could I have forgotten!
Oh, Dan is SO right about Cirque and the mimes. Mimes, clowns- they all gotta go.

2xgtld said...

Whee- this is fun!

And I like the macarena. Achy breaky heart- Anything that requires a costume is just uncomfortable.

I just learned that Manfred Mann's "Blinded by the Lights" song (to which I roller skated with a disco ball) does NOT say "Wrapped up like a douche to roll her in the night" but DOES say "wrapped up like a deuce, higher roller in the night". Still doesn't make sense.

I've never seen 24 or the Sopranos. Same with Buffy and Melrose Place. Loved the first Survivor, been bored ever since. I have hopes for Sons and Daughters, but doubt that it will go over well.

Joel who? Is he the preacher man? Or I am thinking of Joel Osteen? Piano man would be Billy Joel.

I would love to see Cirque du Soleil- Ringling was just... too... too gaudy, too loud, too____. Hammond's Family Circus that I saw last year with my preschoolers was just. wrong.

Swing dancing, Virginia reel, hokey-pokey- all good. Jazzercise- bad.

Bill O'Reilly is horrifically strident.

George Clooney- he talks? I feel sorry for Jennifer Aniston (haven't we all been there?) but I totally can respect how a guy could prefer someone bringing attention to orphaned kids. At least she's doing something with her fame and not just jumping on Oprah's couch. And really, how sad would it be to read all about your finances, love life, adventures on the cover of tabloids?

(of course, that doesn't stop me from reading blogs that cover finances, love life, jobs, etc...)

Best olfactory experience- back of baby's neck.

Coffee IS icky. Coffee ice cream, however, is divine. Go figure.

And my addition- Best movie was Princess Bride... "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my fawdder. Prepare to die".

Dantelope said...

2xgtld, I think you might be thinking of Brad Pitt.

Which, actually, is a better slam than anyone else has come up with so far. You might as well have said "George WHO???"


Laney said...

Aw, poor George Clooney. No one cares! Including me. If I want eye candy I will look for Matthew McConaughey. At least I agree with most of his political views. Mmmmmm McConaughey...Sorry about that. I had a drool moment.

MB – Beware of 24. I thought I would hate it, but somehow I caught the first episode of last season and now I am hooked. Jack Bauer is my hero. Also, Keefer Sutherland is some good eye candy. Yum!

Anonymous said...

I watched an episode of 24 at my friends house and laughed all the way through about how bad it was. The acting, the B movie was all so unbelievable...and come a tv star...where has his career gone?

Dantelope said...

Yeah, you're right. B movie quality. Unlike all those OTHER great tv shows...


I really do miss the high quality of Bosom Buddies

Anonymous said...

Interesting that you find Bill Simmons to be patently unamusing. I have long assumed that you must read his articles frequently because you adopt a similar tone in your work. He really isn't passing himself off as a general sportswriter at all - you should check out his archives and read his pop culture stuff. He is almost as amusing as you.

Anonymous said...

I do read him, anon, and thank you for the kind words. The pop culture stuff, in a way, makes me even angrier. How is it that he's getting paid by *ESPN* when he devotes entire columns to "Party of Five"? Gah.

And his attitude towards women sucks. Let's see how often he writes about strip clubs now that he has a daughter.

Mike Marchand said...

People who watch "The Apprentice" instead of "24" should be punished.

Except MB. She shall be spared.

Anonymous said...

2xgtld: Manfred Mann's lyrics are "revved up like a deuce"-- it's a car analogy.

MB, you are awesome.

Anonymous said...

OK, I got your back on the Latin Mass, Swing music, overrated TV, the French and all things benezine ring, but Bill Simmons? MB, you break my heart.

who lost his internet access at work in his latest transfer, and just now realized that he can leave comments.

Anonymous said...

Note: Along with other items '80s, most of them far more distressing, I noted a wide array of bangle bracelets in J.C. Penney's yesterday. But these are not our bangles. These are the bangles of the rich, at $29.99 a pop. Thus, to obtain the correct bangle effect, one must spend at least $179.94.

Previous Tastings