Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Pop

I gave up sweets for Lent, by which I mean cookies AND ice cream AND candy AND chocolate AND basically everything that makes life livable and you know what? It's really not that bad.

Perhaps it's because I'm in Yogurt For Jesus mode, but I find myself curiously untempted by the displays of Peeps and caramel eggs in the grocery store. However, we're only about a week and a half in, so check in with me again some time in April, when it's likely I'll be sucking on packets of Equal in random Denny's parking lots.

Maybe it's because I haven't given over my one true love: Cheese. I do believe I would die if I had to forego cheese. It comprises at least 97% of all meals. I give unto You all Kit Kats, Lord, but do not take from me my cracker-sliced baby swiss.

Then again, maybe I'm eeking through because I'm cheating via Go-Tarts. Settle me this: What is a Pop-Tart? Is it a breakfast food or a pastery? And what of its bastard child, this "Go-Tart?" The box says "breakfast pastery", which clears it right up. I say the fruit negates the frosting, but maybe I'm just kidding myself and headed straight to hell anyway, riding the delicious sprinkled crust of strawberry goodness.

mea culpa at: mb@blondechampagne.com

22 comments:

Magenta Tulip said...

If your mom would let you it for breakfast, then it's not a sweet. I'm an atheist, but I think the Go-Tarts would be square with a just and loving god.

amy lou the reader said...

For the record, I hate Peeps. They used to sit in my Easter basket until they were hard enough to chuck through windows. That, or I'd blow them up in our microwave.

I gave up chocolate for Lent. It's difficult, but makes that Easter basket (sans Peeps) all the more enjoyable.

I second magenta tulip. If your mom lets you eat it, it's okay for breakfast. Personally, I enjoy cereal. But the occasionaly Pop Tart isn't bad. However, I don't ever toast the strawberry ones. Those get eaten as they come from the shiny silver package. Only the chocolate fudge and smores.

MB, if I'm ever in Florida during Lent, we can troll random Dennys parking lots together. ;-)

Pam said...

Whether you like Peeps or not, this Peeps at the library website is quite amusing. Personally, I don't like Peeps -- marshmallow covered in sugar doesn't appeal to me. My husband, on the other hand, likes to let them get stale before he eats them.

As far as the Go-Tart debate goes, I call it breakfast. If they don't sell it in the candy/snacks aisle, I don't classify it as a sweet.

MB said...

I discovered Peeps in the Library like three years ago and have it BOOKMARKED. That thing is always good for a smile when I'm feeling cheeseless.

Dantelope said...

Peeps are one of two things, depending on your, uh, culture:

If your last name is Federline, then you are referring to your friends (but also fooling yourself since you have none).

Otherwise, you are referring to those short blasts of yellow goodness you get at the end of a good session in the bathroom.

Anything else is aliens in disguise trying to get into your intestines.

As for Pop Tarts, well, breakfast they are not. However, they make a fabulous breakfast substitute. If you'll recall, they sell Chocolate Fudge Swirl Marshmallow Custard Candy Cereal in the cereal aisle at your local grocery store and that is n't fooling anyone into thinking it's breakfast, perhaps with the exception of my four year old son who last time informed me, out of the blue, that "it's part of a nutritious breakfast". Damn that TV.

I for one commend you, MB, on giving up the chocolate. You'd be surprised how far you can get with Splenda-covered strawberries covered in vanilla yogurt. Mmmm.

kittybrunette said...

For Lent, I gave up cheesecake. OH, that's a hard one, because it not only is a sweet, it contains a form of cheese. SO I think God likes me a lot this year.
Maybe now I'll find a boyfriend.
Just to let you know, you rock MB!

kittybrunette said...

p.s.--I find it amusing that our blog names are similar. Especially since I am from Indiana, home to your beloved Notre Dame.
I started reading you here after your Harry Potter review.

Lizzy said...

I agree about the cereal/Pop-Tart/Go-Tart arguement. If it has breakfast in the description or anywhere on the box, it should so be called breakfast and not a sweet; although this is coming from a girl who once ate a rice crispie treat for breakfast b/c her mom was in a hurry and said it had cereal in it. Good luck with the Lenten sweet fast, you are stronger than I.

Anonymous said...

When you "say cheese" it only means one thing in Seattle: Beecher's handmade flagship cheese. Try some @: www.beechershandmadecheese.com/. It'll make you forever forget about peeps, pop-whatever and sugar packets.

Laney said...

I’m Protestant, so, no lent for me. However, I am pregnant, so I have given up caffeine for the time being. It’s killing me.

As for the Go-tart...I say if it says breakfast pastry on the box, and you eat it for breakfast and not for the love of all that is sugary...Then it is breakfast. So sayeth the protestant...Go-tart with your bad self MB!

Anonymous said...

This is what I get for following the Peeps link...File this under
Another productive work hour wasted ....

unfortunately the link below from peepresearch.org is gone now but apparently there is similar research being conducted on Strawberry Pop Tarts.

Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow Torches: ... an article by well-known newspaper columnist Dave Barry noted that Kellogg's Strawberry Pop Tarts (SPTs) could be made to emit flames "like a blow torch" if left in a toaster too long... The present work describes our independent verification and experience with SPT-based combustion."

gryphonesse said...

I ALWAYS had to give up sweets for lent as a kid, since my mom did. My only respite was the fact that my birthday is in the middle of lent (this Fri, actually, yay me) and mom always said it was okay to have whatever you wanted on your b-day even if it was lent. This year I'm saying a rosary at least once a week instead. I'm sure the receptionist in heaven is like that little old lady in the creepy Twilight Zone Episode that still spooks me.. "Hello? Who IS this??"

Cradle Catholic Lenten fair skinned blonde chix unite!

(oh, and I LOVE peeps. Yummo.)

Marla said...

Hey, Lady K, it's been a while! I like that you have comments now. I couldn't make it without cheese either...or salt.

Janet The Reader said...

That's what you need to give up for next year; cheese! Seriously, THAT is one hell (oops) of a goal that The Almighty will be very proud of you for achieving. How about it? Come on, wuss!

MB said...

So many familiar and new faces here. Welcome :)

I shall now enjoy my Go-Tart in theological peace.

Josh The Pilot said...

Thanks for the Go-Tarts, babe. They make excellent snacks for my drive back to Orlando.
Peeps... are simply disgusting...
For those of you who don't know, I'm Protestant and I don't observe Lent, although some do, but I'm making sure I don't eat too much sugar in front of MB, so be proud of me. :)

Dantelope said...

I think you should eat more sugar in front of her, josh. After all, without temptation, there can be no moral victory for MB and she cannot be assured a place in heaven.

Of course, considering all the gas she's going to be producing with all that cheese, perhaps they've given that spot to someone else....

Anonymous said...

#1: Peeps can ONLY be eaten stale, as the crunchieness of the outside is balanced by the not-yet-staleness of the inside. My best advice, buy some peeps, slit the front plastic, let sit for a day or two, then enjoy.

#2. Go-Tarts don't even count as food so I wouldn't feel guilty. Pop Tarts on the other hand (the cherry ones wiht the little red sugar sprinkles) are one of natures most perfect foods. Does anyone know where I can get a poptart tree?

Mike Marchand said...

You get used to no sugar, MB. I haven't had a speck of it in nine months.

And no, I wasn't pregnant. I just looked it.

Attitude Amy said...

Hello MB,

This is Satan. No not dyslexic Santa, but the Devil, Satan.

Ever had Dove Milk Chocolate? Makes a Hersey Bar look like the red headed step-son of the bastard bad seed of me.

How about Dove Chocolate Truffles? They just melt in your mouth resulting in the smoothest most perfect mixture of chocolates. Dove Chocolate is so smooth and yummy. Yes, Satan uses words like "yummy".

And if you go to a major grocery store or even Walgreen's Pharmacy you can buy a big bag of Dove Caramel Chocolates with a smooth liquidy caramel inside each square. Best thing next to Heaven...no punn intended. I won't even start talking about Godiva.

Sorry...I love a good Satan joke. And yes I am from a Catholic family. So, I will see you fly by purgatory either way you go. Happy trails.

MB said...

I only eat dark chocolate, Satan, so BAH!!

It's good to be a client of the Blessed Virgin. She doth protect me from the chocolate temptation.

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