Sunday, March 26, 2006

Different Continent, Same Splatcha

No, this is not the same picture:

She came in third.

Any sympathy for her went flaming out the window when she did not put her hand over her heart when the National Anthem played for winner Kimmie Meissner. Come on, Splatcha, you're used to the low end of the podium by now. Show some love.


Comment to reporter who said "Let's bring up the triple" right before an interview, because they were going to discuss a jump she fell on: "How about something positive? Society puts so much emphasis on the negative." Well, when you make it so easy for us...

Also awesome about these Worlds was The Utter Humiliation of Johnny Weir. For those of you unfamiliar with Johnny, he is a dingleberry in sequins. Like, he named his short program costume. For further reason to hate, click here.


Anyway, Weir fell in the middle of his long program. A spectacular fall, the best kind for dingleberrys, in which the fall-ee finds himself full-length on the ice. And instead of climing to his feet and continuing with the routine, Johnny laaaaaaaaaay there for a while, because he didn't waaaaaaaaaaana skate anymore. He pouted his way through the rest of the program, then sat for his scores with his face trained to the floor, greasy hair presented to the world, furious that he was stuck here in Calgary where the only good shopping was for deer pelts. It was as if Anakin Skywalker had taken up figure skating. The Farce is strong with this one.

rolling around in the negative at: mb@blondechampagne.com

9 comments:

Cbell said...

Her photo reminds me of those awful "fire hydrant" leg lift exercises I used to do when I cared about my weight. Never thought to do them on the ice!

Anonymous said...

Wow Johnny Weir splatted that bad? Now I wish I had watched the Worlds.

MB said...

Oh, you can see it again: ESPN is rerunning the mens' short and long programs (as well as pairs) from 8-11 on Saturday, April 1. TiVo!

gryphonesse said...

man oh man - you TOTALLY made me snort with the "Anakin Skywalker" comment. I thought I was the only one who he annoyed on that level. I've very rarely referred to a male as a tw@t, but Ani definitely qualifies. And the ice skater splappy guy? He needs a kick in the arse too.

Thanks for the snort.

Lizzy said...

I just read the Johnny Weir link, what a hoser! I would use stronger language, including a word I absolutely love but I will refrain.

Miasys said...

The Farce! Oy, I love it. Is he really that vapid of a little twit? That article about made me hurl! I'll admit, I don't follow ice skating that much anymore, but I'm loving your pix and commentary. You're making it much easier for me to enjoy the sport without any work. Thanks for letting me slack!

MB said...

My favorte parts of that article:

"Around his neck, Johnny wears three chains with a knotted mess of pendants, including two Stars of David, an Israeli army dog tag, an Italian horn to protect him from the mal occhio , or evil eye, a miraculous medal of Mary, and the letter D, which stands for the Christina Aguilera song 'Dirrty,' because Christina Aguilera is his role model.

""I don't take them off ever and I don't untangle them because, like, their powers are all hidden in this knot,' he says."

Well! I'm sure the Blessed Virgin is enjoying her time in a mystical knot with Christina Aguilera.

Anonymous said...

Ohhhh, Johhny Weir(d) is an embarrassment to the country. You know all the workers at "Louie" snicker as soon as he leaves. Another reason why the rest of the world collectively rolls their eyes at the Americans. Do you think we can disown him? Give him to France or something?

Jenib said...

Ew, Johnny Weir just got put in my "icky pile". I can only hope that, one day, he will get off of whatever he is smoking and feel really embarassed about this.

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