Friday, October 28, 2005

The Desert

Today's "Way To Not Suck!" Award goes to Ryan the Rocket Scientist, whom longtime readers may remember as the spokesman for The Eagle in January's tragic Avian Rack-Groping Incident.

Ryan is totally going to design a user-friendly X-Wing someday, and it is going to have laser cannons and hyperdrive and an MP3 player and you know what it isn't going to do? It's not going to leak.

Ryan fixed the Bellemobile. I mean, she can still have babies, if she ever meets the right four-door sedan, but Ryan took her dollar-store sunroof apart and sealed all the gaskets and put it all back together and rode off into the sunset, accepting only the forty-eight cent motor as payment. And so when Wilma came roaring around I didn't diaper her, because, I mean, a Corolla can only get so moldy.

And... she stayed dry. I even made a few sharp turns around the parking lot, waiting for the water to sploosh out of some horrible unexpected place, such as the inoperable CD player. But no. It was an Arizona mesa, there inside the Millenium Bellemobile.

I do believe Ryan can show RoDger a thing or two about not being a raging ball of suck. RoDger, on his desk, proudly displayed a diploma from--this is the absolute truth--the University of Toyota, which is apparently where the graduates of Hamburger U go for their PhD work. Boy, I need to start publishing more and pushing for upper-level classes so that someday, if I'm very very lucky, I might get a chance of professoring at the University of Toyota.

But Ryan hasn't even graduated from an actual college yet, and here he is being competent. So! Way to not suck, Ryan.

breeders' cup tomorrow! getcha some! at:


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