Complete and Total Inability To Cook UPDATE

One of my students wrote a process description on making spaghetti, and he suggested that the cook not break the spaghetti in half. I’ve always broken the spaghetti in half, because that’s the way my mommy makes spaghetti, and as every girl knows, the way your mommy does anything kitchen-related is beyond dispute. But I figured, hey, we’re German, perhaps our spaghetti techniques could use some fine-tuning. So I tried not breaking the spaghetti, and while it wasn’t nearly as much fun, nobody died, much, so I kept doing it, and now I’ve made the pasta burst into flames.

Turns out not breaking the pasta in half doesn’t work so well if you don’t take it out of the box first. You pretty much have to take it out of the box and carefully place it in the pot, avoiding all MGM musical–style flourishes, because if you don’t, the pasta will stick to the burner and exit the earth in a tall orange flame of goodbye. It’s impressive, but not delicious.

Also, a certain campus very nearby the Blonde Bachelorette Pad, Northern Edition, which shall remain nameless is sponsoring “Domestic Violence Awareness Week,” which culminates in… a game of dodgeball.

Um.

right then at: mb@blondechampagne.com