Friday, April 30, 2004

Who To Root For

“This is the most wide-open Kentucky Derby I can remember in my lifetime.”
-Steve Cauthen, jockey of Affirmed, 1978 Triple Crown winner

I don't place bets at the races, as I always root for who I want to win, rather than who will probably win. This is not how one makes money at the track. ("I'll take the one with the real pretty tail to win, please.") A lot of you have been asking for my Derby pick. With Gary "I'm In France" Stevens in France, that horse is Smarty Jones. Lookit:

Smarty Jones' story is the next big horseracing movie. This dear little colt came out of nowhere to beat out some very expensive, brand-name horses to earn a spot in the Derby. (20 points for Seabiscuit parallels) As a very young colt, just learning how to enter the gate for a race, Smarty reared and seriously injured his eye. (50 points for Overcoming Adversity) His owners, Roy and Pat Chapman, a car dealer and former social worker, are small-time folks who have turned down blank check offers for this horse. (15 points for belonging to non-snotty rich people.) Roy Chapman is in very poor health and survives only with the help of an oxygen tank. (35 points for Invalid Angle) Last year the Chapmans almost left horseracing entirely when their former trainer and his wife, who brought together Smarty Jones' dam and sire, were murdered. (70 points for Unexpected and Tragic Death Angle) Handicappers aren't giving Smarty Jones much of a chance because he hasn't beaten horses of note. (10 points for being The Underdog) Smarty's owners, his trainer John Servis, and his jockey, Stewart Elliott, have never been anywhere near the run for the roses. (90 points for sob value in the winners' circle.)

Also, Elliott is a total cutiepie. (100,000,000 points for cutiepie, single jockey.)

Smarty Jones needs to win this race.

Derby coverage starts at 5 PM EST on NBC. Watch with me.

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