Monday, February 02, 2004

I was going to wear my break-away bustier to work today

but it was at the cleaner's.

Thanks for the Super Memories, Janet. Listen, my rack is infinitely better than yours and it's the one I was born with to boot. And yet I don't feel the need to invite Justin Timberforest or whatever the hell his name is to display it before one and before all. Borrow some money from your brother's lawyer and buy some class, you Botoxed nightmare. (Also: "Rhythm Nation"? Is fourteen years old. If you're going to nationally humiliate yourself, my dear, at least get some new tunes.)

I couldn't help but contrast Ms. Janet ("Whore-Slut If You're Nasty!"), Jessica "Talent-Free Since Birth And Yet Somehow Still Famous" Simpson, and every writhing dancer on the stage with another woman who stood quietly on the field last night. Oh-- did MTV not highlight Eileen Collins? As a member of the next shuttle mission crew-- the commander, mind you-- Collins was part of the pre-game Columbia tribute. She was wearing plain blue coveralls and only the barest amount of makeup, and she was beautiful.

Guess which of these women I want my baby cousin Kaitlyn to grow up to be like. (Hint: We will likely never have to worry about the effect of zero-g on nipple rings.)

It was lovely to see our Columbia acknowledged at the game. But next time, Houston, can we lose the fake astronaut in the Major Nelson suit? And keep Aerosmith away from the simulators? Thanks.

I'm mentioned in a Florida Today piece about yesterday's Columbia memorial at Kennedy Space Center. Go here and revel in knowing me, She Who Was Quoted At Length.

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