Tuesday, January 13, 2004

That's Some Daily Double

An update, mes amies, on that most unfortunately named filly, Miss Thirtyfour D. She and Gary Lynn "That's Right, My Middle Name Is LYNN" Stevens finished fourth in a field of seven last week. Thus sayeth the Equibase footnotes on her performance:

MISS THIRTYFOUR D broke slowly, saved ground stalking the pace, came out into the stretch, split foes past midstretch then surged late inside.

I.... I don't even know where to begin here. The slow breakage? The "stretch" comment? The splitting of foes? The surging? The late surging, which is of course on the inside? It's kind of like that moment when Alexander the Great, having conquered all there was to conquer, sat down and cried.

Someday, when I die, I shall experience an unbroken, eternal string of setups so glorious.

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