Monday, January 05, 2004

I forgot to tell you guys

that 2004? Is already ruined. Happened at 12:00:04 AM on January 1, when ABC cut away from the shots of people celebrating in Times Square because the producer understood that the whole entire world, in order to properly ring in the new year, really needed to see Dick Clark just absolutely tonguing his wife. I mean it was like he was digging for gold in there, people. The party I was attending fell silent in an unholy mixture of shock, horror, revulsion, fear, and the untorn resolve to never touch another human being ever again.

Things were looking up some twenty three hours later, though, when I departed from visiting with a high school friend and her husband ("Guess what! Ten year reunion's coming up in '05! Happy new year!") and as I pulled onto the highway I caught an opossum in my headlights. I swerved to miss it and immediately heard the following: THUMPTHUMP. So, a quality New Year's Day, top to bottom: The Relic, Reunions, and Roadkill.

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