Headfirst

"Yes, sir, I did bet on baseball," Pete Rose told commissioner Bud Selig during a meeting in November 2002 about Rose's lifetime ban.

"How often?" Selig asked.

"Four or five times a week," Rose replied. "But I never bet against my own team, and I never made any bets from the clubhouse."

"Why?" Selig asked.

"I didn't think I'd get caught."

Can we get a standing ovation for Pete here? And his graduate degree from the Bill "I Think That Stripper Liked Me" Clinton School of Ethical Rationalization? Oh, you'll get in the Hall now, Pete. Because NOW we trust you. You dipshit. You should be disallowed on the basis of your hair alone.