Friday, December 12, 2003

Satellite Fever

The National Air and Space Museum has opened a second home near Dulles International Airport. It houses the Enterprise, a test article shuttle orbiter, the Enola Gay, which dropped the first atomic bomb, and the Spacelab module. Everybody was there for the opening. Vice-President Cheney. John Glenn, first American to orbit the Earth. Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon. Scott Crossfield, (who knew Scott Crossfield was still alive? Damn) first person to fly at Mach 2 and then Mach 3. The current crew aboard the International Space Station was present by satellite feed.

So. Everybody and everything were there. The only way this could have been huger was if Amelia Earhart rolled in at the stick of the Kitty Hawk.

Here's how the AP reports it:

God I wish I were making this up. Not only did John Travolta attend, he approved. Oh, Lord have mercy! John Travolta appeared in Look Who's Talking, Too! We shield our eyes before your luminousness and gigantic collars and general Travoltaness! We go together, Travolta! YOU and ME!!

The connection between Travolta and flight, apparently, exists in his pilot's license. I don't know what he's rated for, exactly. Possibly something constructed largely of balsa wood.

Glenn isn't quoted for something like 700 words of story. It's important, however, that we're all aware that "Travolta declared his love for the Concorde, waved fondly at the Boeing 707 (he owns one) and tried to imagine what it would have been like to pilot the sleek SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from coast to coast in an hour. " Also, he blew his nose twice and said he liked pie. But this has got to be good news and great comfort to the Concorde people. Travolta says it was A-OK! Its existence is hereby justified.

Neil Armstrong? Who the hell wants to hear from him? Get more Travolta! MORE TRAVOLTA, DAMMIT!!!!

"I started to cry," Travolta is said to have admitted when a replica of the Wright Brother's plane touched down at the opening ceremonies. Puss. Also: He's been permitted to share oxygen with Scott Crossfield, John Glenn, and Neil Armstrong at the same time, and what gets him? What gets him right here? A big ol' fake glider. Double puss.

Admission to the museum is free. Parking, however, is twelve dollars. Because JOHN TRAVOLTA'S LIMOSINE ALSO PARKED THERE.


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